i could die right now...

...and probably go to heaven. hahaha. really. kill me now. :D

Last Thursday, the Tau Omega Mu Fraternity and its Ladies' Circle (oh gosh, correct me if I'm wrong) conducted a blood-letting drive. The collected blood will go to the Philippine General Hospital blood bank. My friend Yayie had been dreaming of herself donating blood, as part of her mission being a "good Samaritan... seriously.". She missed the blood letting drive last time because her mom did not permit her, and I told her that the next time there'd be one, I will accompany her. I never thought it'd be this soon. Gosh. But I promised, and I don't want her to lose her trust in me. And perhaps, I also want to help.

So there, it all went so fast. We filled up the donor's form, got our blood pressure checked and weighed ourselves. Then they have this thing which they use to check the hemoglobin and your blood type (which i forgot to ask! dang it!). The doctor rubbed my right ring finger with cotton and alcohol, and I realized he's going to prick it. I wasn't ready, so when he did it, I yelled a short "ah!". The kuya simply laughed at my reaction. It was crazy. Lol. After knowing that we're able to donate, we lie down on the folding beds they had set up on the lobby.

I never have imagined myself in that situation. There I was, in one of PGH's rusty folding beds, holding in my left hand a stress ball, a long needle on my arm with a bag connected in the end, collecting my blood. I was listening to my recently downloaded Twilight audiobook, and I just imagined Edward Cullen sucking my blood. lol. Yayie was the first to finish, because she only donated 250 cc, and because I weigh greater (and when I say greater, i mean MUCH greater), I had to fill the bag with 450 cc of my precious royal blood. But it was alright, I never felt anything, just a little throbbing pain when they inserted the needle on my arm.

I felt good afterwards, not only because my blood circulation is going back to normal with much cleaner blood, but also because of the awareness that I had helped someone in need. After the doctor put my blood bag on their container, I can't help but imagine who would be my recipient. Maybe he or she is like A Walk to Remember's Jamie Sullivan who has leukemia, or maybe a dengue victim. Maybe he or she is like my grandmother, who was then at the verge of dying, but was given an extension of few days because of the blood transfused to her. There are too many possibilities. I just hope my blood recipient, who I gave another chance to live, will live his or her life to the fullest. :)

Another one: Accidental Charity

Last night, Aira and I bought some donuts because of her curiosity to try one of those triple chocolate donuts. I wasn't really in the mood for eating donuts, but I was hungry, so I decided to take a shot and buy one. I put it in my backpack and we started walking. Then Aira said to me: "KC, why did you buy your donut only to give it to someone else?" I was puzzled. And then I turned and saw that the donut I bought had fallen smack into an old woman's lap. My backpack had opened (I knew it was retiring after four years of good, unparalled service). She was on the sidewalk, begging for alms. She smiled gratefully to me, holding up my donut, and said thanks. I let my donut go away. It only cost me a few pesos, but for the old woman, it meant so much. Maybe that donut was all that she had to eat for the day, and I don't want to bring her disappointment by taking the donut again. Perhaps the old woman's smile is so thankful, and I knew for sure that I am going to get good karma from this.

I went home with nothing to eat but with a happy heart. :)

*on title: HEY! i couldn't die right now. i haven't met and hugged David Archuleta yet. haha. after that i could die. :)

this is why i'm hott

I don’t have readings for OC101! Gosh. I found some on the net but I don’t think it’d be enough. Gosh. Maybe I’ll just hope, pray and cross my fingers that I won’t be called tomorrow for the info link activity. :(

~*♥*♥*♥*~

I got home last night just in time for the primetime airing of Teen Choice Awards. Hehe. I watched it and went crazy (again) over David Archuleta, he won a surfboard too. Have you watched it, mi pelu? Have you, have you? Hehe. :)

~*♥*♥*♥*~

I don’t know how I should feel right now.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

Maybe I’ll just put on my hooded jacket and sing “this is why I’m hot”. Haha. :D

~*♥*♥*♥*~

Crush

You know, I've waited for three hours after listening to the song after writing this blog about David Archuleta's debut single entitled "Crush". I just want to have a post that would make some sense, instead of just gushing about David A's heavenly voice. But still, pardon me if I gush a lot in this blog post, I just cannot help it.

David Archuleta has such a great voice (how many times have I said this?). Gosh, I’ve been waiting for this single to be released! I was so happy, I was in tears when I listened to the song (I might sound shallow but that’s how I feel). The song’s beautiful. I am so glad that I chose him as my favorite during AI times because he’s really got the talent, not to mention that he’s so cute (haha). I can’t wait for his album to be released on November, maybe that’d be my gift for myself on my birthday. :D And this teaser’s making me excited all the more! Sorry if this blog post’s gonna be a little short, I just can’t find words to explain how I am feeling right now. David Archuleta’s great! Long live David Archuleta! :D

Find out why I’m mesmerized by the song. Listen and see the lyrics of Crush by clicking on David’s Photo. J

the emo machine

I don't know what I really like about you. You are the average guy, nothing special, wears the typical UP attire (shirt, jeans/shorts, slippers/sneakers), and you are not popular. Or maybe you are, but not that popular. You're like that. And i hate you for being like that. Have you been popular, or if you go to school in a car, or if you treat the library as your home, i wouldn't like you like this. Sometimes i wish i wasn't aware of your existence at all.

You are the reason why my blog becomes an emo machine. Whenever I write about you, it'd always be something sad, or sloppy, or just plain dramatic. I wasn't like this. Until you came. I don't really know why I'm going crazy about you; hell, David Archuleta is waaaaaaay better than you. (Tee-hee, I love him <3).

I don't know. Maybe you should stop looking at me with your eyes like that. Hide yourself under a rock. Don't go to school. Hell, it's just impossible for me not to think of you. It comes naturally, as if thinking of you is responsible for my breathing. And you are not even aware that I like you. I know this wouldn't be the last time I'd write about you. i hope you know how much I hate turning this blog into an emo machine, but it will be, as long as I like you. :(

blame it on gravity

I saw him at the bus station again. Maybe he’s trying to get my attention but I pretended not to see him. Why the sudden ‘shy mode’? I don’t really know. I noticed he’s carrying this all so girly, pink shoulder bag and at first thought, I thought he owns it (it’s not impossible). But hey, of course it’s for someone else. Whoever she is, is she so lame she can’t carry her own fluffy, lightweight and cutie-cute shoulder bag? Duh. I don’t get it why some girls let others carry their own stuff when they have their own hands and the energy to do it. OK, enough of it.

The other thing is that he did not got off his stop. He got off my stop, but he’s with someone else. So he probably accompanied that girl until she gets a ride home. And he isn’t carrying the posh shoulder bag anymore, that girl must have the least energy to carry it.

Hey, why am I feeling this way? I thought everything I felt for him ended on that graduation day a year and a half ago. But I can’t help but feel a twinge of hurt upon seeing him with someone else. I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. He seems to be happy with his life, and all I want is for him to be happy… but why can’t I be happy too?

For that girl who he’s with: You’re lucky. I’ve always wanted him to be with me. Take care of him for me, because I never got the chance to.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

I’ve always hated gravity. It’s the reason why I can’t fly, and because of it my tears fall.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

if not of your smile...

I’d be over you.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

Yesterday, I arrived at the university earlier than expected only to find out I don't have the first class. Aira and I stayed at the library to kill boredom and a four-hour vacant period. I tried to read my history 4 handouts but listening to my iPod seemed to be better. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I saw him standing near me. I thought he’s going to talk to me as he started to come nearer. I shoved my head between my folded arms. I don’t want him to see me with my hair like Einstein’s.

After a few minutes, I looked around to see where he sat, but he wasn’t there. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Maybe he was just a part of a dream. Just as he always have been.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

I love arcade games. They release the stress in me. Being inside a toy store makes me happy. Even if it’s just pressing try me buttons and fooling around stuffed animals, I still love the feeling this place gives me. I love seeing action figures, checking out new video game titles and making a mental note for the nth time that I should save up for a 99-in-one game cartridge for my Gameboy Advance SP. I still smile widely when I remember my 10^th birthday, when my mom bought me a Britney Spears doll at Toy Kingdom, and they played the birthday song for me.

I want to be a kid again. I want to turn back time when all I want is a polly pocket and another Barbie doll.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

This is what I’ve doodled on my history 4 readings after seeing him, in my dream:

Akala ko… lalapitan nya ako. Hindi pala. Hanggang ngayon patuloy pa rin akong namumuhay sa ilusyon. Hindi ba ako titigil? Hindi ba ako nagsasawa? Hanggang kailan ko titiisin na tignan siya kahit alam kong hindi niya ako pwedeng mahalin? Hanggang kailan ako magiging biktima ng maamo niyang mukha? Patuloy pa rin kaya ako maniniwalang may pag-asa pa? sa kanya ko ba ibibigay ang buhay ko kahit hindi niya alam na humahanga ako sa kanya? Mauubos ba ang mga taon ko sa UP sa paghanga sa kanya?

Ang sagot: Oo. Hanggang katapusan.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

For My Favorite Model

I was not a good artist, nor I am now. But you were the one who inspired me to draw: The geeky, unruly haired, thick eye glassed and silent you. That person inspired me to draw as I familiarize myself with how I feel for you. You were the reason why I bought a sketch pad and a set of pencils... I just want to capture how you look in paper. You look really good. I always want to do a sketch of you in your still and solitary moments. I love the moments I had with my pencil, eraser, and paper which slowly gains life as it starts to have you in it. You were my favorite model.

Your eyes… they are the ones I love the most. Even when behind those eyeglasses, they have this sparkle that makes me want to take care of you. I would love to draw them, but they’re so complicated I do not know where to start. I am afraid that when I start to sketch them, they would not reflect how they look in real life.

But that "you" left. It left me with someone I did not almost recognize. The things I loved about you were the ones you changed. It is as if you are not the one I used to draw, the one who I used to admire, and the one who, in his silence swept me off my feet. They say you look better now, without your eye glasses and your hair fixed neatly. But I love the way you look before.

I miss the old you. I miss the geek you once were, the glasses you once had. I miss you who I used to draw; the one I used to dream of.

But I still like you. I love you. Always.

PS. pardon my grammatical errors.

American Idol Rantings

After Randy, Paula and Simon showered praises upon my favorite David, Archuleta on their last performance, how come Cook won? Simon even gave the first and second rounds to him, and by the third performance he said "You came here to win, and what we just witnessed is a knockout". Well, after all those too-good-to-be-true comments, Cook wins.

I won't say that I don't like David Cook. I like him; perhaps I made a blog post here on blogger about how I loved his rendition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby". But I think Archuleta is better, considering he's only seventeen. And I love his ballads.

Maybe there would always be things that I would not understand. It's American Idol, and I don't know how they run their business. (I mean, if it's the local "Pinoy Idol" then I'd have things to rant about even more.)

I look forward to more of David Archuleta's warm smile and sweep-me-off-my-feet ballads. He'll always be my favorite. I just hope he and David Cook won't end up like some of the other idols who seemed to vanish after the season.

recollect.

Ipagpatawad mo kung magiging emosyonal at mahaba ang mga susunod na eksena.

Sa mga panahong ito, masasabi kong tapos na talaga ako ng unang taon ko sa kolehiyo. Nakakakita na ako sa CAS at sa OUR ng mga bagong sibol na Isko’t Iska na papalit sa aming not-so-comfort-zone ng pagiging fresh na fresh na freshies, at sa kanila, nakikita ko rin ang sarili ko (at malamang ikaw rin, nung freshie ka) noong mga unang araw ko sa peyups. Tipong makabunggo lang ng sempai (upperclass) eh feeling mapupunta na sa impyerno kung hindi magsosorry (naalala ko lang yung incident ni Lara. Hahaha.)

Kahit na sabihin mong freshie year ang pinanggalingan ko, wala pang major subjects at puro GE pa lang, ready-made nang nakukuha ang form five at block section pa, hindi rin naging madali iyon para sa’kin (ako pa, na pea-sized ang utak). Karamihan naman ng mga estudyanteng bagong pasok sa kolehiyo eh ganun, tas idagdag pa ang katotohanang sa pinakakapitagang Unibersidad ng Pilipinas ako nag-aaral (walang yabang, katotohanan lang). Mahirap, dahil ang mga magulang ko ay masaya kahit na gumastos sila ng halos beinte mil sa unang semester pa lang, dahil iniisip nila na kaunting tiis na lang at magtatapos na ako. Mahirap dahil pinagtitiwalaan ako ng magulang ko ng ganoong kalaki, na iniisip nila na makakatapos nga ako sa loob ng apat na taon at hindi ako madedelay (pinipilit ko naman e). Mahirap dahil ngayon ay nilalakbay ko ang apatnapu’t limang kilometrong pagitan ng tahanan namin at ng Unibersidad, at mahihiluhin ako sa biyahe. Mahirap, dahil araw-araw kong pinoproblema kung ano ang isusuot ko, dahil wala na akong uniporme. At pinakamahirap, ang pag-aaral syempre (kailan ba ito naging madali?)

Sa UP ko naranasan lahat: ang makipagbuno sa deadline, huwag matulog ng apatnapu’t walong oras, magkacrush sa prof, mahulog sa impyerno ngunit sinagip ng Diyos, mahulog sa mosh pit ng impyerno kung saan nag-iislaman lahat ng bumagsak, magkaroon ng prof na sugo ng kadiliman, makipag-usap sa sarili para magising, magpaphotox ng isang bundok na readings, muntik na di makauwi dahil nagastos ang pera sa project, ma-late ng 45 minutes sa finals, umiyak para sa isang subject (ulitin ng limang beses), maging prof si mojacko, maawitan ng ibong adarna, maglaslas ng pulso at magpiga ng dayap para ‘di makatulugan ang ibong adarna, magtagumpay paminsan-minsan, mabigo ng maraming beses, maging aware sa mga bagay-bagay, makakain ng carbonarang lasang gawgaw, makalmot ng pusa sa CAS, mayaya sa rally, abutan ng baha sa Taft, maibagsak ang dalawa sa tatlong major exam at pumasa sa subject na yun (possible pala), at… *ehem* umibig (naks!). Alam kong kulang pa ‘yan, pero malaki talaga ang nagawa ng UP sa akin, marami siyang ipinaranas, sa unang taon ko pa lamang.

Alam kong medyo malayo pa rin ang lalakbayin ko, pero masaya ako dahil tapos na ako sa una kong taon. Sa oras na ito, hinding-hindi ako nagsisisi na sa UP ako nag-aral. Mahal na mahal ko ang pagiging iska, at hindi ko ito ipagpapalit. :D

*insert title here*

hwooh. my throat is sore. my nose is barado (syet na-blackout na kung ano inglis ng barado... ayun. 'clogged' nga pala). my head is spinning. and i'm typing on my blog.

i don't know why i still manage to blog despite the second exam on monday. I need to review. pero malaayo sa pagrereview ang ginagawa ko ngayon.

yay. two weeks to go and I am finally free. Summer class would be over. yay. No more waiting for one and a half hours under the sun for that freaking bus. yay. two weeks to go and I'll have my precious sleep. oooh.

Lord have mercy on me.

never mind this blog entry.