What is Superb: The Year that Was

I can't believe I am writing a year-ender again. Already. Last year I posted on my other blog that 2010 was the best year I had so far. And I say my wish was fulfilled and 2011 beat 2010--and it's amazing how each year keeps getting better.

But I should say that 2011 is not as kind as 2010 was--I had a good mix of ups and downs this year--and every 'down' leads to skyrocketing 'up' that I will always tell of.

I'll be spontaneous in writing this, so forgive me if they are a little too disorganized.

1. Alter Spaces, Jolly Towns: The Match Between Corporate Identity and Advergaming -- An undergraduate thesis by Karen Christine de la Cruz Moroño

Owned It!

Yeah I know, my thesis topic sucks and I am starting to regret it... but the process of writing it was so tedious and bloody, that time I never thought it does. This was the first real-life test I have gone through this year, and I'm so blessed I survived--even after doing my chapters four and five in just one freakin' night, crying in front of a receptionist to let me in on an interview, going through defense twice, not going home and staying all night in coffee/pastry shops and my good friend Angel's unit, not to mention not taking a bath on the day of my defense. Not even a change of clothes. Now you know.

But what matters is I defended it and the words came into my mouth with no effort. I am still amazed when I recollect. Luke 12:11-12 is true.

And your name is written at the end of my thesis acknowledgments. Wish granted.

2. I graduated.

BA Organizational Communication, Class of 2011 at the College of Arts and Sciences Recognition Program

University Graduation. Sa sobrang yaman namin, twice kami gumagraduate. LOL.

Kahit ang mahal ng sablay, OK lang. Kahit mahal yung damit, OK lang din. Kahit na nakasuot ako ng 5-inch heels habang nagmamartsa, ayos lang. Finally I gave something my parents can be proud of. Graduate na ang bunso nila sa UP. Even when they don't say it, I know they are proud. Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan. :)

And no, I don't intend to go abroad.

3. First time to go to the UP Fair.

Right after submitting a 28-page thesis proposal. Boo yah!

4. Spontaneous gala with best friend Maricar, Arvin, Ruth, Lal, Jhe and Chariot (Lal's Mitsubishi Space Wagon).

Dirty resteros = ♥

Making puslit in UST, Proofreading their thesis, Binondo food tripping, Bebe-you're-a-firework watching. These people were a breather during the thesis-writing stage of my life. I miss them a lot, actually. :)

5.  First time to write a song. And winning an award.

'Coz it's here that I found love...

6. Graduated the JIL G12 Encounter God Retreat and now attending the School of Leaders.

I don't have a photo of what we did so lemme just show you how happy my buddy Ruth and I were during the retreat.

7. Became a life group leader.

I may be acting on impulse at times and have fallen short of His glory, but still gave me this opportunity to disciple the youth. I am blessed. All glory to God.

8. MAROOOOOOOOOOOOON 5! *Le Gasp!!!!*

Iniyakan ko rin yung mga security sa SMX kasi ayaw nila ako papasukin dahil may dala akong SLR. And they said: "Bakit ka umiiyak?" to which I answered: "E nagsstart na kaya yung concert, demet!!!!"

So they let me in. Dun pa ko sa Gold tickets section dumaan, saw Adam Levine in flesh, and Chris Tiu afterwards. Life is good. And my tears are so powerful.

9. WESTLIFE. AFTER. TEN. FANGIRL. YEARS.

Read the blog post for the account. :)

10. The long and tiring road to getting a job.

Two months of clashing uncertainties and fresh grad idealism. No photo of bumhood because I was too busy sleeping.

11. Got a blood donor's card.

Yizzz, on my fourth blood donation!

12. Got a job at Alexander Mann Solutions, Global leaders of recruitment process (and I thought I'd avoid HR as much as I can because it isn't really my forte).

My AMS batchmates. Sadly, three of them aren't with the company anymore. Two out of those three are my team mates, BTW.

Let me tell how I landed this recruitment coordinator job. I originally applied for a copywriter role and reached until the final interview with a British dude but I lack one thing--experience. And then they saw my CV and found out that I was from recruitment during my internship and thought I'd be fit for the job.

Turned out, I was. Will tell more of that later.

13. Getting a job (your first job) can also mean ranting and finding out about yourself.

The past six months were the most challenging. I lost all three of my original team mates (resigned/fired) and I was the only one left standing. Good thing is, I now have new team mates that are twice the fun and energy!

When I say 'twice the energy', I mean it. Look at Abby taking a photo of us while I am sleeping.

That's Kane beside me. Dave is from another team (a good friend as well!)

14. Corporate Sleepover part 2--the real thing.

Worked for 18 freakin' hours (maybe more! I lost count) to take cover of three time zones. Slept in the office. Logged in on a Monday and went home on a Wednesday. Oh the things I never thought I could do.

(photo to follow).

15. Earning new friends.

With Kane, Christian, Ron, Dave, and Ella (my personal bully).

AMS Christmas party with basically the same people (minus Christian and Ron, plus Cole).

Photoboothing at the Christmas Party. With Rowel on the middle photo on the right.

16. Finally letting go of ones that are not actually the 'best'. Maybe not even a friend at all.

I tried hard for this, I held on and tried to reach out but she kept on bringing up the past and fishing for information on my future (that, to some extend, was sabotaged by her too). I just can't bear with it anymore so I had to let her go.

Sometimes, certain things happen for you to see who really are your friends. It's a good thing that 'that thing' for us came early on.

PS. Maricar is still my best friend. :)

17. Had the best birthday so far!

"HAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY KCEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

'Twas the first time I was surprised at exactly 12MN, my first time with a job, and my first time at the new home. Spontaneous friends are spontaneous, so we had a drinking session at our place in Bulakan.

18. New Batcave

My family finally officially transferred to our new home in Bulakan, Bulacan. And just this month, I also moved out of my previous dormitory in Taft Avenue and am now staying in West of Ayala Condominium in Gil Puyat Avenue, Makati. My office friends tease me a lot about moving in to a royal-sounding and royal-looking condo... but whatever. I'm glad I found somewhere to live in that is only a walking distance to work. :)

19. I lost Zildjianne Pearl. :( But got a Galaxy Ace as a replacement!

I'll be buying a rebound iPod soon enough. But it can never replace you. I miss you, Zildj. :(

but got this as a replacement (temporarily). I love you Mom!

  

20. One of my proudest achievements of the year (aside from graduating): Alexander Mann Solutions' Global Contributor of the Quarter for Global Client Service Centres

Who would have thought that the 6-month contract I signed would end up like this? And who would have thought that a fresh graduate with a lack of professional experience will end up as one of the top performers--globally--in a recognized industy leader? God is simply good.

PS. I am now a regular employee and my contract served as my probationary period (which, one of my friends say bihira daw mangyari). I didn't even pass through the supposedly required revalida. All glory to the most high God!

***There isn't space anymore in the top 20 for you, and I know you don't need to--because you are not just a memory of 2011.

 You will be with me until next year. I still love you next year. And the next. And always know, that what I have made known to you still hold true until today. You are a wonderful person, and I believe in you. I always have.

Thank you for everything: for trusting me, for motivating me, and for making me laugh. This year has been rough and oftentimes awkward, but always know that I am always here. And I always love you, even without saying it.

I hope you will stay in my life next year--I am sure that I will be happy to say that I have known you before the world ends (if ever it is true). ♥

---
Hello God,

Thank you for a wonderful year. This year has been superb and thank you for your grace. 2011 molded me into a stronger person and let me do things I never thought I could, and they are all for Your glory. I could not thank you enough.

Please be with us and hold our hands as we walk through the next year. :)


Your daughter,
KC

Merry Christmas, Christian!

My line manager got a surprise from me, my team mates Kane and Abby, and another team leader Red while he is exploring the serene shores of Boracay. Because we are too stingy to buy gifts (LOL) and we are afraid that the leftover gift wrappers in the office will just go to waste, we wrapped some of his stuff with love and tried to surprise him by claiming it as our Christmas gift.

You know stuff like this happens only once so I had to take a video.

Note: Halfway through the wrapping, Kane and Abby stopped and turned it over to me--they suddenly became afraid because after all, they are still on their probationary period. Mahirap na. Hahaha!

Wag kang mag-alala, aayos din ang lahat...

Para tayong stairway to heaven: langit ka, lupa ako.

Pero kung si Jan Di at Jun Pyo nga nagkatuluyan eh.

Against all odds sina Via at Gabriel.

Ang bagoong at singkamas nagsasama din.

Pwede rin naman... diba?

Lamang pa nga ako dahil hindi mo naman kabarkada ang F4.

A Smartphone on a Pear Tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my mother gave to me: a smartphone on a pear tree... or a package from England. It's a joint birthday and Christmas gift (and I hinted before that I need/want a new phone) so she gave me this. An awesome phone from the awesomest mom in the world.

But what made me cry is this: enclosed in the package is a card with a poem. Thought it would be best to share it for everyone to know just how appreciative my mom is though I am quite far from the best daughter. Well, maybe for her I'm the best--because I'm the only daughter she has. Haha! Anyway, here goes:

What it Means to Have a Daughter Like You
If I could gather up
all the smiles, laughs, memories
and pride that you've
brought me through the years
and give them back to you,
I would.

Maybe that way you'd understand
just what it means to have a
daughter like you
and why you're one of the
most important things
in the world to me.

No one could ever
love a daughter
and believe in her
more deeply
than I love
and believe in you.

Just want to say, I look forward to birthdays and Christmases spent with my mom. Soon.

Hello again, God. Thank You for giving me an awesome mom and for bringing me into this world and to an awesome family. They may be crazy and we may sometimes clash, but You know I love them and I don't regret bearing their name. Thank you for Christmas as well. I'll never forget that this season is all about You and Your love. I love you! ♥

For the Hopeless Romantic in You

          

Admit it, He owned it like a boss. Congratulations, Tim and Audrey!

Greetings from AMS' intranet

I-screenshot na natin, baka di na maulit. LOL.

Thank you, Lord! This is all for Your glory.

Hello, God

I know You still remember the time that I posted this.

I know You hear my prayers every night that you keep him safe and provide him everything he needs. I know You know he is always--still--of my concern though I try to keep it to myself. I know You know that I am afraid that he would he make me feel that overwhelming indifference he had in my dream last night, if ever we see each other again.

I know You know how much I love him then--even before I wrote that blog post--and until now. You don't forget. You have granted all my prayers at the start of the year: even the ones that are nearly impossible--and more. You let me graduate, You made this year a life-changer for Dad, and You gave me undeserved grace at a company I never would have imagined I would work for.

But I know that even with all those, You can give me something more: My number one creative miracle. You still has his name written on the palm of Your hand as the creative miracle I held on to at the start of the year.

Lord, You know the fear that occupy the previously hollow space in my heart. You know that the thought of letting all of this go terrifies me. You know that I am afraid to let this all go to waste and I am afraid of the possibility that one day I will find out that everything I have done never really worked. I am afraid that the letters I wrote--all 200 and still counting of them--will never be read of their intended recipient. I am afraid that the love story I have always prayed for will just end with a blur.

Father, I know that you didn't put this desire in my heart for nothing. I know that You are the one that led me to where I am now--and God, I pray that in the future I can say that You are the one that led us to each other.

Lord, please let me sleep with a peaceful heart tonight. And please grant me the assurance that everything will be alright in the end.

I Received a Note from my Boss's Boss and This is What it Says

Cannot afford to lose the trust of my boss's boss just like that. So I sent a sorry note.

She replied:

Hi KC--hope all is well. Thank you for your note. I know how very diligent you are and the pride you take in your work. It must have just been an off day!! (we all have one of those occasionally :) )


Stay well!

Life's still good after all.

.

.

.

.

Story of my life.

RB's response on my Previous Post

Ganyan naman daw talaga pag nareregular. Parang initiation rites ba.

Yes, I'm Hardcore Like That

Normally, a contractual employee's job would be terminated on the day stated on the papers s/he signed. In my case, it would be on the sixth month. I started on the 21st of June, and my contract was supposed to end on the 21st of this month. But today, the 14th of December, the universe conspired and I broke the rule--I signed a new contract that makes me a permanent employee.

Yes, I'm hardcore like that because my God is awesome like that.

I didn't undergo the typical probationary period that temp-to-perm employees would normally undergo, in the case of my other officemates, an additional 3 months. And I signed my regularization contract even BEFORE MY FREAKIN' REVALIDA.

When my revalida is supposed to be the measurement of what I have done for the company and what I could still offer (still have to do it fo'sho though).

Today I also got my health card, which means I now have the liberty to get sick. Been holding that back for too long now. Kidding.

Yay?

 

 

Why, this is too much awesome in a day that the universe should have a counter-attack. On the day that I signed my regularization papers, I got a sh/tload of escalations. Which made me think that they are thinking that the regularization isn't worth it after all.

My boss says that sh/t happens, and this is one of those sh/t days. But this is just too much. I can't use my global employee of the quarter reputation for this--that reputation in fact makes it harder. That award, and all of the expectations that come along with it made this job harder. This day, my 99% accuracy is now a little less than 99%.

And damn, my real life in this job is only getting started.

This could have been one of those good days but it wasn't. Funny how such failures can ruin a supposedly great day. Or even a week, maybe.

At least the countdown for the 12 days of Christmas is already on it's way.

Patty: "HBD"--Channel ba yun sa TV? Haha. Para iilang letters lang ang "happy birthday" paiikliin pa.
Migs: Happy birthday ba ibig sabihin nun? akala ko "Hi Baby Doll" man!

HAHAHA Migs! Made my night! :))

OK. Enough. Must do my presentation for my upcoming revalida. Revalida! Onwards to regularization! OOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Dito na lang ako sisigaw.

HANGGWAPOMOSYEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!

Background song: Shot through the heart, and you're to blame... ♫ habang nagcocollapse ako sa kilig.

Partida mo na wala ka pang ginagawa nyan, nagpost ka lang ng bagong photo nagkaganito nako. Hayop ka talaga. Nakakainis na.

End of story.

This is a Lengthy Post that Took so Much of Me to Write

December 10 of last year broke my hard badly that until now, I can't talk about it without getting all choked up.

But since I'm writing about this, I'll try my best not to cry. You won't know if I do anyway. I already wrote about this last night, but I want to put it up here on my blog so that I'll have something to look back in the future. Maybe then, I can laugh about this. Or just to even be indifferent as you are today.

Dear (your name here),

I can still remember this day last year as if it was only yesterday. December 10, 2010, the day my heart was shattered.

Everything is still clear to me. I can still tell of that story part by part, I can still remember every bit of that conversation that forever changed the course of everything between us.

I can still remember that I only intend to initiate a friendly conversation, to catch up on what has been happening to you. I asked you something--a question related to the world we once shared--because that's the only common ground we have that I can still try to explore.

You made a joke--at least that's what I think--and right then I knew that you enjoy talking to me. You just don't know how much I enjoy talking to you too. Then I asked you how things are going on in your life.

That's when you asked that question.

At first I was shocked, elated maybe, that you finally opened up a possibility of talking about something like that. Then you told me who the lucky girl is...

And it wasn't me.

I wanted to leave that conversation right then and there, but I did not. I was too shocked to even hit the exit button of that chatbox. That moment, I was too numb of any emotion. I knew that I have to cry but I cannot.

I knew that it's all over but my heart would like to believe that they're just getting started.

Sh/t, sobrang sakit ng conversation na yun, na pag naaalala ko di ko mapigilang umiyak ulit. Even after a year.

I knew that entertaining your questions would just hurt me more. I knew that being your love doctor would just kill me slowly from all the pain that you will give every time you would tell me how things are going on with her.

But I also knew that it's the only way I can get close to you. Even if it means listening to you as you talk about her.

I remember that I asked you: "Pero gusto mo talaga sya?" to which you answered: "Oo. Hindi ako makatulog kakaisip sa kanya."

And you don't even have an idea na hindi rin ako makatulog kakaisip sayo at sa paggawa ng mga sulat na hindi mo pa rin nababasa hanggang ngayon.

Until this day I still regret having said "If you think she's worth the risk, go." Until now I still think of what could have happened had I said something else. Until now I still think of what could have been if I said I love you all along, on that fateful night.

The moment our conversation ended, I broke down. Hard. With no one to talk to. I tried convincing myself that it's over, that things would end just like that, that you and I would never happen. But I knew that this is not over and I'm willing to endure the pain until the end.

I fell asleep crying. I woke up the next day with hopes that the previous night is just a nightmare that I can simply run away from. But I opened my laptop and saw our conversation history.

Sh/t, totoo nga.

I was so depressed that I have no appetite for anything. Everything I hear makes me want to cry. I abhorred love songs. I even cried during recitation on my commstrat class. F/ck, my mind wasn't on anything I did that day.

I told my friend Aira about it. It was so bad that I cried even before pouring out the whole story that she ended up crying too. Look what you've done, you ass.

After the night of December 10, I could have just given you up. I could have just said to myself that this will never work out and I would only end up getting hurt. I could have just told myself that what I have seen in the movies aren't real, that true love f/ckin hurts.

But I'm still here. Even until now. Even after a year.

Why?

Because I know that the're something more to this. That even if it f/ckin hurts, I should not give you up. That this could still work out if only I'll be a little more patient. That true love exists and I found it in you, and this is not quite the ending of the love story I have always prayed for.

I know there's something more in you.

Please let me feel it before it's too late.

I love you,

KC

KC the Drunk(en) Master V1.0 and (probably) Never Again

December 10 would always be an unforgettable day. This year, it was the first time I got drunk.

Drunk enough to not walk straight to my condo unit.

Even too drunk to not make it to the bathroom and puke on my shoe instead. And a Mercury Drug plastic bag (the one for meds, not the sando bag) the next morning.

And way too drunk to experience the allergies I have with alcohol even until now that I write this.

And drank too much to discover an allergy for alcohol that I never would have realized I have.

That's what I get for the heartbreak I still remember from a year ago.

Oh yeah.

Thanks to my awesome friends Cole, Ron, and Ella. And to Central Taft for that hell-in-the-stomach called "Badtrip". Badtrip talaga. Traydor pa.