I shouldn't be doing this.

How serious are you when you told me that the one I think of loves me, when that someone is you?

I would add another thing...

Karen Christine wants true love and This:

A Limited Edition UP Adidas Jacket! I want a UP Jacket badly. I’ve been planning to buy one since first year and until now I don't have any (and I am a junior already). But since this one is a little pricey (2400 bucks *gasp!*) I am looking for a benevolent donor to support the lowly, jobless student that I am (hello, argumentum ad misericordiam). Show your love, people. :D

And all I want is One Thing...

 So it’s Christmas. And I am here at home trying to get away from my inaanaks by sleeping and staying in front of the computer, maintaining high popularity on Restaurant City. I somewhat feel lonely with what is happening—my Dad is off to his friends, My cousins are off to Pampanga to visit their other relatives and I am the only person awake in the house. But as said in the preaching this morning, I will try not to be sad, not only for this day but everyday, because I have my Father in Heaven. I will never be alone.

What makes me smile is that people still remember to give presents to the scrooge I am.

On the last day of school for this year, I received a teddy bear, which I named Marra, from Marj and Larra.

I also received a cute heart necklace from ate Jayvee.

Lying down in my bed when I got home last night was a shirt from The Perfect White Shirt and a post-it note that says: “sana magustuhan mu… XOXO” (aside: see? My brother uses XOXO!)

I received a package from mom containing a postcard of cattle from Scotland, the Promise Journal, and Puma kicks… and the promise journal had some moolah inside. (another aside: daig pa ako nung 130 pesos na nakaipit sa promise journal… nakarating na sila sa England, ako hindi pa. Plus, they traveled back with Queen Elizabeth II!)

I also received an Abercrombie polo shirt from Tita Bhe, which, sad to say, I failed to take a picture of. :(

Although this time of year may not be as festive for me as it is for others, I can say that I have felt the warmth of the love of those who cared. They may not come in the form of tangible presents, but the presence of certain people is enough to make me smile.

I hope that I will celebrate each day in a festive mood upon this realization. Although it may sound very clichéd, Everyday should feel like Christmas. And I hope that I will receive the ultimate gift that I have been praying for, which is not something, but someone. :)

Happy Holidays y’all! :)

All For Love - Live :)

All for love, a father gave… this song is one of my favorites from Hillsong United. Soli Deo Gloria!

PS. And again, the ending of the video was abrupt. I really should get a new memory card for my camera. (ehem…) ;p

D Chronicles: The Final Set

Crying can make you feel real good.

Tonight, after I heard everything, I had a better view of the situation. And finally, finally I promise, I will try my best to let loose of these feelings I have for you, though it would be very hard.

Thank you for making me realize how true love is. Thank you for making me change for the better, thank you for serving as my inspiration. Thank you, for because of you I learned how to distinguish love from infatuation. I know what I felt for you was more than mere admiration. I thank God for sending you to me to teach me all these things as He prepares me for someone else.

What I am having right now is a mix of sad crying and grateful crying. For the blessed girl to have your heart, I hope she takes care of you more than I wish I would have. I will try my best to move on and see you as what I did before, so that my heart will experience pain no more.

And I promise, this would be the end of D Chronicles. Seriously.

Youth Choir Sings This Kingdom

Abrupt start and abrupt ending for the video (blame it on my camera’s low memory), but nevertheless beautiful. One word: nakakakilabot—in a good way. Glory to God!

God wants me to know...

On this day of your life, Karen Christine, we believe God wants you to know that joy will come when you pass on the love you have received. If you hoard love, it melts away. If you lock love, it breaks free. If you grab on to love, you end up holding an illusion. When you let love flower in its own way, it stays to support you. When you pass on love, it multiplies beyond measure.

...that your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere, - melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance.

God knows every situation I am in. Always.

indeed, experience is the best teacher.

The best—and worst things aren’t taught in school. In the end, a class valedictorian could turn out to be the biggest loser of all.

Funniest Photo so Far

©Tumang, Loyola. November 2009. 

Dinig Sana Kita (If I Knew What You Said)

“O, Anong mas maganda: Ito o Twilight?” I playfully asked my friend after watching Dinig Sana Kita on its screening in UP Manila’s Little Theater.

“Ito,” she readily replied.

Dinig Sana Kita was the best film I have seen this year. A story about a deaf guy (Kiko) and a rocker girl (Niña), this movie shows us that it is possible for the deaf and the hearing to live in the same world and establish a relationship. The movie triggers a lot of emotions from the audience; one moment you’ll laugh at it so hard, especially when Niña is with her band, and the next moment you’ll just feel tears rolling down your face. Mr. Mike Sandejas really did a good job in directing this movie, and I absolutely agree with what he said on the forum afterwards: “Mas maganda naman talaga ang indie [movies] kaysa sa mainstream movies, hindi lang nabibigyan ng chance.”

I absolutely admire the deaf dancers. They move and sway like those who can hear the music they dance to, maybe even better. Sugarfree’s Wag Ka Nang Umiyak was also very relevant to the story, how Kiko became Niña’s refuge when she experiences conflicts with her parents.

Here’s a trailer of the movie. I hope you can watch it too.

Don't lift your pen!

This puzzle had Thea, Aldwin, and me thinking. How can you draw this...

...Without lifting your pen and repeating strokes?

We thought it would be easy, especially because we know how to solve another puzzle like this (the house— I know some of you are also familiar with it.) We gave it try. Thea got it once, but forgot how she did it: “Frustrated ka na rin?” Aaron saw me doing it and grabbed my pen: “Wag ka nang magpakaadik dyan.” After three sheets of notepad, I gave up… For now.

Okay, I promised myself I would figure it out before we see each other again next week. Maybe I’ll just have to use a pencil so as not to waste precious ink.

A Different Package

Got this from my friend's tumblr blog, and I just have to agree. Sometimes the best things arrive when we stop being anxious about it. And sometimes your heart's deepest desire comes packaged in a different wrapper. Just be patient. It will arrive.

Deeper and Deeper

On this day, God wants you to know that a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time. Each time on a whole new level you together open in love and discover the truth of your beloved anew. There is no limit to the beauty of your beloved. If you think you've reached the end, stop generalizing.

Fell in love with others, feelings choose to go back to the one most dear. I don’t really know what makes me so sure that you are the one meant to be my beloved, forever.

Never gonna give you up

Winner.

Second Semester, Day 2

Uno Cards, Still. Three solid hours of Red, Blue, Green, and yellow numbered cards, Power cards, and Wild Cards. Had fun with the First Batch (With Zid, Mi Pelu, Tam, and Justine); Second Batch (With Zid, Mi Pelu, and Kuya Eric); Third Batch (With Zid, Mi Pelu, Patty, Jeca, and Kuya Eric); and Fourth Batch (With Zid, Mi Pelu, Patty, Jeca, Justine, and Kuya Eric). Notice that Zid, Mi Pelu and I have been playing all the time. Nahilo na nga ako nung last part, buti na lang may coach ;)

I had fun, big time. Especially with newly-implemented rules (given by Kuya Eric) that involve the magical cards of zero and seven that made the game more exciting! :) the bawal-magsalita-at-lumabas-ang-ngipin-ng-talo rule is also a winner :)) Playing Uno with friends is way better than doing so in Facebook. :)

What did you do on your first day of the semester?

This is how we spent it: Pizza, Drum Maniax, Guitar Freaks, and Uno Cards ;)

Love Unfailing

You make me feel safe
Like no one else could--
You calm my soul's deepest conflicts,
and tell me:
"Everything is taken
good care of, don't worry."

You answer me in my distress
Your words comfort me;
Your assurance is enough
to keep me going.
Your love, Oh, your love!
It's more than enough,
More than I am asking for...
More than I deserve.

You are more than wonderful.
Your love is more than amazing.
Your grace is extravagant.

It's not enough for me
to just say "I Love You..."
For everything You have done
For Your faithfulness,
For Your never-ending favor,
For Your tender touch
when things are getting rough,
For tracing my tears
as they gently fall,
and claiming them as Yours.

Still, I cannot give anything
To You;
For all things I have
are because of Your favor.
And all that I am,
My being, My soul--
Have always been Yours.
My life, My strength, My hope
Comes from You alone.

For blessing me with more
than I ever ask for,
I am so much grateful.

I'll Worship You until my last breath.
I Love You--
And I know, You love me more--
My Lord, Lover of my soul...
More than anyone else could.

KC's Wishlist

    * Music lessons from the drummer himself
    * be admitted to Sir Villar's OC109.2
    * Dairy Queen 16oz Rocky Road Blizzard (or the chocolate cone because it reminds me of someone)
    * Pilot G-Tec 0.4 pens
    * earbuds for my iPod earphones
    * new charger for Bear
    * SmartBro prepaid kit
    * A day with Kuya and Avon-- with lots of food
    * stored value tickets
    * my own drummaniax machine
    * A pair of drumsticks to go with my drummaniax machine
    * Good health for the whole family
    * Westlife live in Croke Park DVD
    * New shirts
    * Detective Conan DVDs
    * Justice Series DVD
    * Joshua Harris's 'I kissed Dating Goodbye'-- I lost my copy and I want to read it again
    * Pizza Hut's Cheesy Pops pizza
    * that thing that you put in your shoes if it's too large-- I need a pair for my Skechers.
    * Slaaaaacks!
    * White or silver strapped sandals
    * Taho
    * A set of Staedtler Triplus Fineliners
    * Stabilo Highlighters
    * A Scientific Calculator (yup, this is me typing)
    * A Hardbound Journal
    * A drawing book
    * Charcoal pencils
    * Him. ♥
    * That I can please my Maker in everything I do.

Of course, nothing beats prayers and love coming from the most important people I know. :)

Confused

Somehow, 'now more than ever' seems a little bit untrue.

Three Words, I'm Smitten.

I just can’t let go of
What I’ve been praying for
Since this year’s first 16th
After all that you’ve done
It’s hard for me not to fall, I’m sorry.

With just one glance
A wave of your hand, a smile
Three words from your lips—
And I’m smitten.
You won me over again.

Did I say again?
Then that would be a lie
Because I have always been in love with you…
From the start, even before I knew it.
Always.

It is still you who enters my mind
Whenever I hear a love song,
Or when I think of forever,
Or when I see chocolate ice cream cones.
It is still your hand I want to link with mine,
Your eyes to look into for the rest of my life…
It is still you who I’d want to meet at the altar.

I am sorry for thinking like this—
For loving you too much,
Maybe even more than she does.
I am sorry but I just can’t point out
What makes me so sure
That you are the one made for me...
When you aren’t even mine right now.

I am sorry for not letting go
Of our beautiful love story
That started with piggyback rides
Way back in kindergarten.
Go on with your life,
I’ll still be waiting...
My prince. My fairytale. My destiny.
I love you, now more than ever.

14:49

I like the way you make an effort for us to be more at ease with each other. You have shown us that you are just as normal as we are, with, well… a few exceptions brought about by your being so talented and all. After what happened today, you might think that I am to treat you the way I do with others, but no, I saw that you are indeed special. 

Through you God answered my prayers last night. :D

For my First Love

True faith flowers from and through doubt… ask those questions you’ve always been afraid to ask, and find the answers, and then your faith will become unshakable.

Dear Lord,

            Thank You for answering me. Thank You for always, being there. Thank You for reaffirming Your promises when I doubt. Thank You, for I know, my prayers are already answered.

            Thank You for giving me Your word, that I should trust in You with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Thank You for Your tender touch and for tracing my tears as they fall.

            Thank You Lord, for this day. Thank You for the revelation You have given me. I am sorry for doubting Your promises even for a second. Thank You for the assurance. Thank You for Your unending love.

            I love You, Lord. Thank You for giving me these feelings to teach me lessons that I may be of use someday. Thank You for being so patient and for being a listener to everything I feel. Thank You for Your promises and Your best plan for me.

            I could go on and on thanking You, Lord. Please accept this life and mold me into what would be pleasing to You. I love You, and I am in awe of You.

Love,

Karen

A year ago, I was given this.

Pero, seriously, ask God to guard your heart... who knows, kayo pala talaga? Or you will find someone better? Siguro hindi mo pa maiisip 'yung latter sa sobra mong paghanga sa kanya... but it is possible. Ihahanda ka naman ng Diyos sa kung anumang mangyayari e, hingin mo lang ang gabay niya. (Yangyang, 2008)

This advice from my good friend was given to me as a comment on multiply on October 10 last year. This guided my heart and since then, many unexpected things happened.

Thank you for this, Faye my labs. I hope this will be of great help to you now that you are in that situation.

Faithful Father

I woke up this morning with a song in my head:

This is my song of praise to You
For who You are, and all that You do 
From the moment my life began  
You have been faithful...

Indeed, God has been faithful since my life began. Little wonders to great achievements unfold each day in front of my very eyes. But how many times have I thanked him for being so? Not even with half of my lifetime. Still, He continues on and on, His mercies flowing, His love unending.

God is an awesome and loving God.

D, v.29: The end (for now) of the D Chronicles

It’s been quite a while since I visited this blog, even more when I last made an entry.

Now I have decided to give up everything I used to feel for you. I won’t forget everything – I would just want to revert to the days when I used to see you nothing more than a friend. As I considered doing this, I thought of whether I really loved you. From what is happening, I initially thought I did not, because I do not feel any hurt as I try to let you go. But then, on second thought, maybe I loved you, maybe even so much that if letting her have you would be the only thing that makes you happy, I would gladly give it to you.

I know God send people my way for special reasons, and your coming into my life had its purpose. Through you He showed me someone I could follow and an inspiration to help me change for the better. I owe a lot to you, and I know that things will fix themselves up if you are really the one for me. Thank you for teaching me how to believe.

Have you not played THAT song, I wouldn’t be like this

…And the feeling that I’m falling further in love makes me shiver, but in a good way... ♥

No Excuse to be Angry

My desktop’s mouse scrolled its last an hour ago. I had to go to my cousin’s to borrow hers and make it through our book report. I was surprised at how calm I’ve acted toward that situation which, in a normal day would send me screaming and shouting and panicking down the stairs. I did not. Instead I asked my brother what could have happened, and when I saw that it can’t be revived, I gladly said “OK lang, hihiramin ko na lang yung kay Racquel.” No bad words, no feelings of frustration. Hindi ko inasar ang sarili ko, kasi alam ko, ayaw mo ng ganun.

Thanks for inspiring me. :D

A Night in the University

September 26 is one of the longest days of my life. My degree program celebrated its 25^th anniversary and we organized a conference that was cut short due to bad weather.

Because it was raining very hard, we decided to spend the night in the university. And yes, we were wearing corporate attire.

Still, I have been so blessed because I slept in the university, and I am safe from the storm and was not stranded on the way home. My brother and his girlfriend spent 13 hours traveling from SM North Edsa to our home in Bulacan – a journey that would take only two hours on an ordinary day. And mind you, sleeping in the university was fun.

The professors that stayed with us were very much concerned about the students. They were the ones that ordered food for us and asks us if we are okay. God, thank you very much for giving me such brilliant and caring instructors.

I left the university at 9 am the next morning. Thank God the expressway is not flooded anymore and I got home with ease. My gratitude goes out to my best friend Maricar who was very concerned about my situation, my grade school classmates Floro, Anjane and Yeyen who asked whether I got home safely, my spiritual sisters Ana, who continually asked for updates and Ate Jing who asked how am I doing, Tita Bhe who prayed for me and all others who were stranded, my Mom who called to check on me, to my block mates Karen, Gem, Marj, and Larra who bravely went to Robinson’s just to buy toiletries and food that will get us through the night, and to Jen, Kim, Roanne, and Sha who prayed with me for the safety of everyone.

Indeed, God has amazing ways to show us how blessed we are.

PS. Please help those people in need by giving cash, food, clothes and other goods to the Red Cross. For UP Manila students, you can bring your donations to the ground floor of the student center at the old NEDA building, or outside the USC office at the fourth floor. Prayers can help a lot too.

D, v.28

I’ve got a confession to make.

Every time I go to the place where we met, I realize the same thing over and over again… that it is possible for me to take a lifetime waiting for you.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not falling out of love with you, of course not, because I still think of you every night before I go to sleep. It is still you who comes to my mind whenever the word love is mentioned. It is still you who I imagine walking beside me whenever I go home alone. The thing is, it’s hard to believe that someday you will be with me when I see you with her laughing and having a good time: the things I have always wished that we would do together.

I can’t say that I am now going on to the phase of moving on and giving you up, because there is still a part of me that believes in the reality of these dreams. But now it is all right to me if you are not the one. I am torn with the belief that you are the one, and the fact that you aren’t.

I know things will fix themselves up someday. If you are for me, then good. If you are not for me, then live a good life with her. I feel a twinge of hurt while typing the last sentence though, but it will all be better in time... they always have.