How I wish too, Mom. How I really wish.

Yesterday, a package for me arrived. Wrapped in an express delivery envelope, on it was written my name as the recipient and my mom’s as the sender. I knew it. I have received lots of things like this in this time of the year

.

I opened it. It contains a birthday card and one of the most beautiful things on earth; it was a gold plated pen with my name embedded on it. Whoa. She knew that I won’t use it, so she included two regular gel-ink pens for me to use. My mom always knew how to make me happy.

I then opened the birthday card. I was psyched out when I heard it singing, although my mom always sends me birthday cards like these… I have received singing birthday cards, birthday cards with lights on it, e-cards, interactive cards, cards with butterflies… almost every kind. I read the notes she wrote on the card’s inside and it says:

My dearest Bunso,

Happy 18^th birthday

I wish you all the best in life according to God’s promises!

Lots of hugs and kisses,

Nanay

PS: I wish I could be there!

Birthday cards like these never really make me cry… but this time it did. It’s because of that last part, the last sentence that says she wishes she could be here. I knew that, and I really wish she is here, too. Hell, the last time I celebrated with her was my 11^th, and that was seven years ago. I realized I grew up and changed a lot without her witnessing it. I am now of legal age but the last time she celebrated with me was when I was in fifth grade. I long for those days when I don’t receive birthday cards from another country… because the one who sends it is right beside me.

This could be just another birthday celebration. I’ll be 18 in less than a week. You might say that I am just being sentimental, but think: some girls celebrate their 18^th birthday with their whole family, extended and immediate in a night flowing with food and drinks. Me, I’ll be celebrating it in a simple way with my family which is not even complete. Not that I want anything extravagant, no, all I want for my birthday is my mom. But I guess that will never be granted… not now, at least.

The Last Escapade

Yesterday, me and my favorite cousins agreed to go to the movies and watch High School Musical 3: Senior Year. We went to the nearest cinema, Walter Mart in Plaridel, to watch it. After miles and miles of travel, we arrived… only to find out that HSM 3 isn’t showing yet on their cinemas… and it’s not even their next attraction. (insert expletives here #@*!) Walter Mart. They display a life size poster of Troy and Gabriella and it’s not even in their next attraction list? Hell.

That gave us no choice. We had to leave Walter Mart after five minutes of entering it because they only show the best movies like Matakot ka sa Kulam and we had to go to SM Marilao which is quite far so we can see a not-so-worthy-to-be-shown-in-a-nearby-cinema-movie like High School Musical 3 (end sarcasm). So there, we had to go to Pulilan first so we can board a jeepney to Marilao because it was the given instruction by that stupid Manong. The jeepney we boarded passed by Walter Mart too, so we just wasted our jeepney fare by going to Pulilan. By this time my cousins and I are trying to enjoy our little misadventure. There’s more to come.

We were dead tired when we got to SM Marilao. We had agreed to go to SM Valenzuela in case SM Marilao still doesn’t have that movie that earned much of an expectation after all we’ve been through just to watch it. But hell yeah, HSM 3 is right there. We bought tickets and food then entered the cinema. The movie was all right, I had no regrets whatsoever of having traveled far just to watch it. Lo and Behold, we watched it twice so that we get the most out of what we paid for. Haha. It’s fun watching a movie together with my cousins… actually, it’s the first movie we watched together, and the first time we go to the mall without any elders. And hell, the last movie I watched with them in the theatre is Spider-Man 2, which was ages ago.

We went outside and it was raining hard. We rode a jeepney to Malolos and talked about everything we can so we didn’t notice we’re at the city capitol already.

The movie is good, but what made me enjoy this day is because I spent it with Racquel and Leah, my favorite cousins. If only Sarah was there, she is another favorite cousin, then we would have been happier. This is probably our last gig that I am 17 (But who knows?). And maybe I could watch Twilight with them, SM Marilao displays a life size poster of Bella and Edward. Like this:

Oh yeah, that's not Bella there... She's Racquel, my cousin and best chum. She loves Edward and wants to replace Bella in his heart, even only in this photo. :)

me loves spidey

It was (not so) recently that Patty gave me another Spider-Man thingy.

What she gave was a blue tin lunchbox, with my favorite web-slinging hero printed on both sides. I was so happy because I have another one to add to my (not so growing) collection of Spider-Man stuff.

I started to be a fan of Spider-Man when I was in second year high school (it hasn’t been that long). My family, immediate and extended, went to see Spider-Man 2 in theatres. It was the first movie I saw on the big screen (hey, don’t blame me if there are no cinemas here) and I was so amazed. We then went to KFC and got Spider – Man tumblers. It was so cool.

From then on I became a fan of Spider – Man, getting and buying and begging for merchandise whenever I get the chance. I am not the comic-odyssey-action-figure-and-spider-man-comic-books type of person though, because I never had the money to support that vice. What I only have are original CDs of Spider-Man movies, action figures, stickers, pop watches, pencils, ID lace, that bucket from KFC, game boy advance game cartridge, and drawings I’ve made out of sheer love for my Spidey. My devotion to my dear Spider-Man also manifest through my Multiply layout and my mobile phone theme.

People find it kinda weird, you see. Girls like me would prefer powerpuff girls and hello kitty rather than a spider hero to idolize. At first I thought I have loved Spider-Man because I associated him with my mother, because every time my mother comes home from London, we always watch Spider-Man movies. But I came to love Spider-Man more than just because of that association; I have realized that Spider-Man is the hero that I wanted to be like. Not because I want a string of web coming out of my pulse and use it to dangle around the city (although I could always use that), but because of his morals. He is the hero that always remembers his Uncle Ben’s words: With great power comes great responsibility. He always thinks of others before himself, and though he doesn’t always win, he never gives up. He also has the coolest superhero costume in the planet.

What I love most about Spider-Man is his wits. He talks his way through fights to insult and distract his opponents but does his best on it as well. Seriously, whoever exchanges witty remarks like, “oh geez, a walking suitcase!” and “Look, slimy, we’ve got enough reptiles in the government. Why don’t you run for office like the rest of us?” to his opponents? (He said that before his battle with lizard in the Spider - Man 2 game in GBA) He knows his limitations, he is aware that the power he’s bestowed upon is a gift and a curse at the same time, and he knows that once he put on his amazing red-and-blue suit, he’s not Peter Parker anymore.

Spider-Man has taught me a lot: to stick to my decisions like the way he sticks to walls, to use my head the way he uses his spider instincts, and to fight for what I believe is right just the way he always does. And while I cannot use a secret identity to hide myself and be the world’s savior, I can always be my proud self and help others in my own ways.

Yes, I know that Spider-Man is fictional and he can never be real (hey, who knows?). But for me, Spider-Man is a character I’ll always believe in, because in him I also find myself, and the hero I wanted to be.

nostalgic.

and I miss Westlife this much. aaargh.

I've got everything but you

this is your fault

Just gotta have a break from making two major papers.

Anyway, yesterday I heard the weirdest thing: you have a girlfriend.

I don’t know whether I will laugh or cry; I’ll laugh, because I know knew you are capable of loving a girl aside from those of your family, I’ll cry, because that girl is not me. It’s also weird that I find it odd to hear your name and the word ‘girlfriend’ in the same sentence. I thought liking you was quite safe: you don’t seem to be much of a guy who’d want to impress a girl (yet you swept me off my feet) and think of a girl rather than his studies. I thought liking you was safe because you seem to be the one who’d believe in destiny (pardon me if this sentence hurt you). Your innocent face tells me that maybe, just maybe, what I’ve been told was wrong.

And then I was also told that you became her boyfriend because she freakin’ likes you. Hell, if that would be the basis of being your girlfriend then I have been your girl since our first semester in college, back to those days when you look thrice as innocent and angelic as you are today. I have liked you since the day I saw you, and you are the first guy I saw in UP. Now you know.

Dang, life can be so effin’ unfair, isn’t it?

Yes. Life is so dang unfair. But who am I to hope that you’d be mine? You don’t even know who I am. I don’t really know you either; I just came to know you through your posts on your sites. Hell, I don’t even know why I like you this much. It’s as if you have cast a spell upon me. I HATE YOU FOR BEING YOU. The wonderful you. Have you been another person, I would not be this in love.

You have been linked with quite a number of personas recently. All those times I’ve been patiently waiting on the sides, hoping for my turn to come.

And now, for the nth time… I lost you again.

…or maybe not. Because you’ve never been mine in the first place.

yan. para sa'yo.

Alam mo na kaya na gusto kita? Tingin ko, oo.

Malamang matagal na.

And it’s freakin’ driving me wild.

Aaaargh.

Lahat ng ginagawa ko bumabalik sa’kin.

Praning na ako.

Mas praning pa sa'yo.

:|

hay.

seppuku na 'to.

gusto mo sabay tayo? :D

don't tell me you know...

that I like you. :|