D, v.24

Saturday, May 16 2009

Your laughter rings in my head. I don’t know whether to smile about this day, or to wallow in sadness and depression. Today I got to laugh with you… heck, I’ve been told that seeing you laugh is something so… rare, so what I have witnessed was a miracle. But today I also found out you are having a goody-good relationship with someone else, and was told in my face.

Funny how you can make a day my best—and worst at the same time.

I guess being completely happy with you is something I should pray hard for.

At this point in time, I must give up, right? But no, I won’t. I will continue to pray for you. Miracles happen, don’t they? Then why can’t God do something as simple as this?

Double the patience. Double the prayers. Double the faith.

God will give me the best gift I can ever receive—you.

D, v. 23

I know God painted you in my life not to be depressed over with, nor to be paranoid, but for Him to teach me how to completely trust in Him that someday, He will give you to me.

So I am never giving up. I am not going to lose hope. I will never cease praying for you. Never.

Because We Are The Reason...

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!

Words are not enough for us to thank the Lord for what he has done yesterday. For those who does not know, we were participants of KKB Malolos Festival of Talents, particularly in the Concept Dance competition. This was the first time for us (KKB Panasahan) to join a competition, and we were so excited but tensed at the same time. I mean, we would compete with the… uh… experts in the ministry who have been doing their stuff for the longest time. And our little pantomime ministry was born, like, four months ago.

I do not really know whether we have put in all our hearts in our practice for our presentation. Maybe some of us, if not all, thought that we are nothing compared to the experts. It was a day before the competition that we learned we would compete against last year’s champs. Oooh Dear. So we thought na baka isipin ng tao: “Ang lakas naman ng loob ng mga ito na magsisali pa.”

But then we realized that this is no longer a competition. This is about bringing the highest Glory, Honor, and Praises to our God. If we have put a smile upon our Master’s face, then He would give us the prize. Our main purpose is pleasing God, and if we have done that, then we would still have won, whether we have the certificate of being the champs or not.

So yes! We danced for the Lord and not for the competition. After our performance, my cousin Leah and I were talking about how God moved while we dance. She said: “Ate, ang galing kanina. Hindi ako nadudulas sa medyas ko! Para ngang wala akong suot na medyas e…” to which I agreed. I even kind of regretted that I did not put all my heart into our practices, kasi nung actual dance namin nung competition, parang ang dali at ang sarap nyang sayawin. After we washed our faces and changed our clothes (We were in a black-and-white Mr. Bean costume with braided pigtails and summer cake with thick, sad eyebrows), we went out and watched the rest of the show. We received a lot of comments from our co-KKBs and other people saying: “Ang galing ng performance nyo!” and other stuff like that. Some even said they were teary-eyed because of the song and how we interpreted it, while another KKB commented that our performance was very anointed, to all of which we humbly answer: To God be the Glory.

When the results came out, we were nothing but awed as to how God worked in our lives. The little pantomime ministry formed just about four months ago became champions. When I think about what happened, I can’t help but be amazed at how God is using each one of us today. I remember ate Sarj tell us before, on one of our practices for our very first mime performance: “Matagal nawala ang pantomime sa KKB. After two years, ibabalik sya, at di pagkakamali na sa inyo naibigay ito.” Only now have we realized what that means, because now, it is unfolding right in front of our eyes that it was really not and accident: God really wants to use us and reach out to people’s hearts through pantomime.

Our heartfelt thanks go out to Ate Sarah Donceras Caburnida who never get tired of being our mentor for stuff like these. And for letting herself be used by God to teach us. Ate Sarj, salamat ng marami!

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!

Soli Deo Gloria!

D, v.22

I won’t wash this shirt ever.

That’s what I said to myself when you smiled and laid your hands upon it as you give my back a little pat. I tried to act normal, but the next second I found myself smiling like crazy.

Hehe. Again, that’s magic only you can do. It’s been a while since you’ve been doing that to me.

Sighs. I imagine your scent as you pass by when you changed your shirt… the sweet smell that entered my senses uninvited. Dear, I seem to float when I smelled you. Stalker much?

I can’t seem to find the words to express how I feel as I type this. I am so happy upon spending a day (again) with you in sight. But again… there’s something bothering me still. Paranoia is bad, I know, but… ugh. Please just read my previous post for clarification.

And again I will say this: I will never give up praying for you. That’s all I can hold on to right now for me to believe in myself that you will feel this way too.