Wednesday, July 23, 2008

if not of your smile...

I’d be over you.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

Yesterday, I arrived at the university earlier than expected only to find out I don't have the first class. Aira and I stayed at the library to kill boredom and a four-hour vacant period. I tried to read my history 4 handouts but listening to my iPod seemed to be better. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I saw him standing near me. I thought he’s going to talk to me as he started to come nearer. I shoved my head between my folded arms. I don’t want him to see me with my hair like Einstein’s.

After a few minutes, I looked around to see where he sat, but he wasn’t there. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Maybe he was just a part of a dream. Just as he always have been.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

I love arcade games. They release the stress in me. Being inside a toy store makes me happy. Even if it’s just pressing try me buttons and fooling around stuffed animals, I still love the feeling this place gives me. I love seeing action figures, checking out new video game titles and making a mental note for the nth time that I should save up for a 99-in-one game cartridge for my Gameboy Advance SP. I still smile widely when I remember my 10th birthday, when my mom bought me a Britney Spears doll at Toy Kingdom, and they played the birthday song for me.

I want to be a kid again. I want to turn back time when all I want is a polly pocket and another Barbie doll.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

This is what I’ve doodled on my history 4 readings after seeing him, in my dream:

Akala ko… lalapitan nya ako. Hindi pala. Hanggang ngayon patuloy pa rin akong namumuhay sa ilusyon. Hindi ba ako titigil? Hindi ba ako nagsasawa? Hanggang kailan ko titiisin na tignan siya kahit alam kong hindi niya ako pwedeng mahalin? Hanggang kailan ako magiging biktima ng maamo niyang mukha? Patuloy pa rin kaya ako maniniwalang may pag-asa pa? sa kanya ko ba ibibigay ang buhay ko kahit hindi niya alam na humahanga ako sa kanya? Mauubos ba ang mga taon ko sa UP sa paghanga sa kanya?

Ang sagot: Oo. Hanggang katapusan.

~*♥*♥*♥*~

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