Sunday, November 30, 2008

For Superman*

We became friends because of the most awkward ways. If I can remember right, we’ve been introduced to each other for four times before you remember who I am. But I have always known you… you are the guy who swept me off my feet on my first day in high school.

I don’t even really know what to call you: if you’re my best friend or a mere acquaintance; if you are my closest guy friend or just a person to whom I decided to confide myself in. we are so close to each other that you know my dreams, and I know yours. But you’re so far that the longest conversation I had with you in person lasted for just a minute.

It was just recently that we sent messages to each other again, after a long, long hiatus brought about by your being a student nurse and my academic stuff. It’s all so different now, the way we view things and our topics for conversation. I have sensed that you and I have grown and changed a lot, and the things we used to talk about are not exactly the topics we want to be brought up now.

I tried to search my mind for something we used to talk about… I found the words you used to say to make me feel alright. Though I lost both phones wherein I used to save your messages, I can still remember the most special ones, almost word-by-word. I remember you used to worry because I always stay up late and you fear that I may become anemic, so you told me to go to sleep. You inspired me, and I was part of you as well. You make me sad, and you know how to make up on it. You were the person to believe in me, even when I myself do not. You are one of the best things to happen in my life. I loved you very much, and I think I still do. But things aren’t the same.

I miss the old you like heck. I wanted to talk with you again like we are just trying to know each other. I wanted to hear again from you those words you said to me, that I am important and you wish you could make me feel it. I just want us to be back to the way we used to. I want to go back to those times that I feel you really want to know me as much as I want to know you. I want to talk to you all day on the phone, talking about things which are not important at all but I treasure very much. I miss the days when we talk about our interests, dreams, favorite movies, songs and everything about superman. I miss the days when we used to be closer than we are today... those days when I think I am the only one you want to know more about.

Those days are gone. Whether it’s because you know me better now and the stage of knowing each other is over or simply because you don’t care about me anymore, I don’t really know. But one thing’s for sure – I miss the person who seemed to care about me and make me happy like no one else could. I miss you who shares with me his innermost thoughts and feelings, because nothing of those were left. I miss you, and I just don’t understand why things go this way.

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone…

That song used to be your song for me… I wonder if you’ve forgotten it already. But I did not, and I’ll always be here. Always.

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