The Soul Searching (Job Hunting) Process

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Honor and Excellence

This post is long overdue, but I’ll post it anyway. The University of the Philippines and I have already made it official on April 15. I am now holding an undergraduate degree in Organizational Communication, and man, I couldn’t be any prouder of myself as I write this now.

UP and I have been through a lot of ups and downs; as in literal, flying-on-a-rollercoaster-with-hands-waving kind of ups, what with those unos that I’ve earned during my stay, and face-on-the-floor-making-laslas-of-myself kind of downs that I faced early on with tough subjects with even tougher professors. I remember passing my freshman year with flying colors and being full of unbelievable angas. Those were the days when I thought that the floodgates of Taft Avenue, the GE (minor) subjects, traveling 45 kilometers, choosing what to wear, and the cat poop around CAS were the hardest things that studying in UP has to offer. Those were the times when I thought that I was invincible and I had all the bragging rights; when I thought that I am part of the smarter bunch—just because I am in UP and not in others.

Yes, being in UP already gave my mind a lot of room to explore. In UP I learned about things that I never thought I could, and that only came with time. UP did not only teach me about communication theories but also about working with tough group mates. I did not only learn about management styles, but also grace under pressure. Extra Joss can cause hyperacidity and Cobra Smart can still make you fall asleep. The most conducive place to study is not necessarily a well-lit room or a chair with steady back support; it can be a 24-square meter condominium unit filled with cigarette smoke and looks like it’s a place where MTV Skins was shot, but cramped with the most caring and intelligent bunch of people called friends. Watching concerts and listening to music is as important as intellectual masturbation. Diversity is inevitable—embrace it or die. Not all friends are here to stay. Sun Tzu is the man. You can’t be kind all the time, much as you want to. A plate of liempo and a friend that cries with you is priceless during a moment of heartbreak. Live a modular life. Take things one step at a time. University myths are only true if you’ll let them be. Cry if you need to. Annoying people will always be there to do their job, ignore them and be awesome. God has ways of turning dark moments into a pathway to a miracle. Plastic cover can substitute for whiteboard. It’s cheaper to have papers printed at Sparklink. Patience is the key to everything—from the long and tedious process of enrolment to getting a thesis done.

And a lot more that I don’t even know how they’ll fit here in this post.

I have learned that what makes me different from those in other universities is not just the angas that comes with the university name but how I actually let the university mold me into its values and morals. I have learned that ten years (or so) from now these grades I’ve earned wouldn’t matter. Not even the university I graduated from. What would are the things that UP taught me that stayed. It’s not necessarily about those countless of names I have memorized (or failed to memorize), but the wisdom that the university imparted. Though it would help to always quote Stephen Covey, Virgilio Enriquez or David Berlo while working (to avoid plagiarism), what matters now is how I apply what they say and how it makes me a better citizen. Or employee. Or manager. Supervisor. CEO. Lawyer. Writer. President.

Yes, like everyone else, I am an idealistic little thing filled with hopes of love, life, and everything in between. But UP taught me that I can be so much more than I thought that I could be four years ago. I never thought I could be this headstrong about something that I should get done. That I can stand up for what I think is best. That I can manage things on my own, that I can rid of evil and get it on with what’s good, and that the sweetest victory is that when you have proven others (sometimes even yourself) wrong.

UP taught me that great—as in really great—things come in unexpected packages—people wearing shorts and flip-flops to school can graduate cum laude, ordinary-looking professors are filled with knowledge that they are ready to share to students, pretty seatmates lead rallies, dilapidated classrooms can share a thousand victorious moments if only their walls could talk, or incomplete laboratories with non-functioning air-conditioners house the best future doctors in the country that are made more resourceful (yet their resourcefulness does not justify the lack of budget given to the State U). That is what UP is all about. People do not check out the brand of your clothing once you enter its premises nor would they smell you to know whether you have taken a bath or not (I haven't a lot of times before hehehe); instead it checks out what you’ve got to offer in the pool of learning that everyone else dives in. After four (or more) years, it’s up to your abilities how much you’ve drank on your own that you are ready to share to the world.

This is not a post that says goodbye to the University of the Philippines, for I will never do so. But this is a little part of my effort to thank the university for all that it has done to me. A lot of people say that I must be intelligent to graduate from UP. Little do they know that intelligence can only play too much for survival in the university. One needs courage to move on even after crazy exams and failed subjects, patience in working with and for anything, and determination to finish the race. God had blessed me with all three that is why I can write this now, and UP honed what God had blessed me with.

I will always be an iskolar ng bayan. Be it supporting our lousy (I’m sorry) men’s basketball team and our kick-ass, all-time champion pep squad in UAAP to living to UP’s standards of excellence, I will always be an iskolar. No other university or company will ever change that.

I will never bid UP goodbye. UP will stay with me. UP is in me. Honor. Excellence.

Malayong lupain amin mang marating

Di rin magbabago ang damdamin…

Humayo’t itanghal

Giting at tapang

Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan!

to show you how flexible our faces could be...

Taken after the college graduation at the UP Film Center in Diliman. Proof that I have a flexible face, an insane mind, and equally crazy (and flexible!) mom, bro, and future sis-in-law. :)

I hope it would be possible for this summer to be as good as the last. :(

This post is a breath of relief :)

The last blog post I did before this is a list of songs on my thesis playlist. And I am very happy to tell you that together with hard work, determination, and the grace of God, that playlist did its job of letting me pwn own it. As in own it REAL HARD.

After working overtime since who-knows-when, Chun-Li finally gets a rest :)

Yes, that thesis that I have ranted about for so long is already done—and on time. Those angst-ridden posts about respondents not responding and whatnot are the testaments of the long and ever-so-winding road to God’s ultimate miracle. I don’t know how things happened, or how I managed to get out of that tangle that I did myself, or whether it was really me who got me out of that chaos. One thing’s for sure: if it’s not because of an awesome God, then I don’t know who else would do it for me.

If there are things that working on this thesis taught me real hard, it’s not about those complicated theories or confusing paradigms. Nor it was actually about constructing a foolproof framework for the defense that would get away with the panelists. What I have actually learned from thesis is that good things come to those who wait, pray, and don’t give up. I have learned that if you set your priorities straight, learn to be patient, trust in the Lord, keep asking, never stop believing, and do all that you can, the stars will collide and agree with what you are working on (drama!). Show them your best game face. Make them realize you’re dead serious about this.

Another thing--a supportive adviser and loving friends will help you get through.

And finally, that baller band that I’ve been wearing for a month now finally made sense. I’m almost there. Just a few more toga fittings, sablay shopping, clearance signing, and shoe scouting, and it would be 4.15.11, the day that I graduate. This is by far the greatest achievement I ever had—typical of a mediocre 20-year old girl like me who is suffering from quarter-life crisis (we’ll talk about that on another post) to say, but yes, I have learned more about the real world in the past semester than I did in my previous years.

With Mavic and Eya, finally at the last stretch to getting an undergraduate degree.

I hope I did enough to make my parents proud—and to prove that God’s hand is always at work. Those little things that I used to call ‘dark moments’ were stepping stones to God’s miracle that I will always tell of.

There it goes--my hardbound blood, sweat, and tears, finally submitted to my adviser's desk.

And to you: I barely made it, but I did. I hope I will be someone you can be proud of someday. The determination I have learned from doing this is teaching me to not give up on you as well. Thank you for everything, even those you never thought you did.

This Is My Thesis Playlist

I am someone who can't work without music. And since I am currently undergoing the biggest challenge that ever faced me as a college student, I had to construct a very nice playlist which I call... the Thesis Playlist.

This is the best playlist I have constructed for academic purposes so far. It's a mix of alternative to upbeat to the most cheesy songs you could think of. I decided to post the song titles that comprise my playlist should there be any untoward incidents that may lead to the death of the playlist on my laptop.

Stellar - Incubus
I miss you - Incubus
Warning - Incubus
Are you in - Incubus
Summer Romance - Incubus
Stellar (Acoustic) - Incubus
Pardon me - Incubus
Love Hurts - Incubus
Midnight Swim - Incubus
Make a move - Incubus
Talk show on mute - Incubus
Drive - Incubus
Nice to know you - Incubus
Wish you were here - Incubus
Pantomime - Incubus
Tangled - Maroon 5
Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
Stutter - Maroon 5
Runaway - Maroon 5
Misery - Maroon 5
Never Gonna leave this bed - Maroon 5
She will be loved - Maroon 5
How - Maroon 5
Gotten - Slash ft Adam Levine
Give it away - RHCP
By the way - RHCP
Can't stop - RHCP
Other Side - RHCP
If it's love - Train
Hey Soul Sister - Train
Obvious - Westlife
More than Words - Westlife
Blurry - Puddle of Mudd
Out of my league - Stephen Speaks
Let's just fall in love again - Jason Castro
Thunder - Boys like Girls
Always - Bon Jovi
Wonderwall - Oasis
True - Ryan Cabrera
I'd Lie - Taylor Swift
Alone with you - Parokya ni Edgar
The Man who can't be moved - The Script
Hanging by a Moment - Lifehouse
Wait Forever - Gary Valenciano
Only in Photographs - Honor by August
My Favorite Game - The Cardigans
Uncharted - Sara Bareilles

The titles seem to tell a story, donchatink? Nevermind though. The ones in bold face are my top hits. nice tune, nice lyrics. I suggest that you too start constructing special playlists (I have another one which is my "kinikilig playlist") so that you can have standard songs to work with. For me, I prefer that it is a mix of everything to balance your ears out. :D


Okay, enough for the break. Must work with thesis again-- while listening to the Thesis playlist. Ha!

O pwede naman din pala magblog diretso sa blogger website e! Haha. Kapal lang talaga ng mukha kong makapagblog pa ngayong wasak na ko sa thesis.

PS. This post is labeled "final stretch" and I promise to do my best to really make my acad life that way. So help me God.

Lemme try this blogging app I have installed on my phone. Oh wait-- the landscape keyboard won't work! This sucks. But anyway, it's nice to have this thing. It's like twitlonger minus the twitter logo and only that it's posted on a crappy blog rather than a microblogging network to see. Anyway, good morning! I'm on the process of making my way out of this difficulty called thesis. Pray for me, buddies.

Just tell me if you want me out of your life, sir.

Nonverbals won’t do it.

Do you know what triggered me to telling you how I feel? Kasi ang sakit sakit na. The emotional rollercoaster is actually recorded here in this blog. I was—am—so hurt, that the best possible way of ending the pain is to tell you that I care. It felt good for quite a while.

Little did I know that the pain could only get worse. It’s more painful when you know that the other person is aware that you are hurting, but he still does it. Oo nga naman. Sino nga ba naman kasi ako. Kapal naman ng mukha kong mag-isip na may pag-asa pa ako.

Ang bobo lang. Sobrang bobo lang talaga. That was the most irrational thing that I have done so far.

And yet, it’s the bravest.

You know that I love you. You know that I love you enough that I can let you go if that would make you happy. You know that I’m willing to endure heartbreak just to be with you, even if it’s not the way we wanted us to be. You know that I can wait for you.

But I can’t do those forever. And yet I don’t want you to be just another bad memory. I don’t want you to be just another wrong person.

I know there’s no better way of doing this.

"If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love. If it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough. It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out, that's when you know what your heart is made of..." 

--Switchfoot, Yet

And you know you haven't lost me yet.

Always my Favorite STW Photo

From Dante Shepherd's Surviving the World