Just a quick entry, I hope.

Today is the 22nd anniversary of the day God decided to send this world my favourite creation of His. Of all God's creation, this is one that I chose to deem with much importance and place somewhere close to my heart. He may not be able to read this, but I just want to shout out loud how much I am thankful that this day was made 22 years ago---because on that day, an angel was born. I still wasn't born on that day, but fast forward 20 years later, that event made the world seem colorful to me.

He may be an imperfect angel, but that's what makes him all the more perfect. He showed me that an angel also has a vulnerable side. I love it when that angel tells me his struggles; it somehow makes me feel that I also have some of the things that can make an angel complete. When I talk to that angel, I feel closer to home.

But loving an angel can also be painful. He may sometimes get lost while dancing along the light of the day, or maybe sometimes be busy on other responsibilities that he just forgets about you. I don't know if angels really do that, or he may just be a special case... after all, he is just a 22-year old masterpiece with a lifetime to spend in order to be perfect.

I'm not sure about how this angel feels, but I never got to talk to him like we used to again. Though I am not sure if he found someone better to mend his wings when he lost all the will to fly, or if he felt strong enough to reach heaven that he does not need me anymore, nothing's changed. If there is, it's just I loved him even more for his strength to go on his own.

I hope you reach your heaven with or without me. I miss you.

Happy birthday, Kevin.

While my officemates are talking about hair and makeup for girls:

Male officemate: 2 hours?! Ang tagal nyo naman mag-ayos!
Female officemate: Hair and makeup yun friend. Matagal talaga.
MO: 2 hours... ano yan, movie?!
Me: Oo, sa pag-aayos mo ng buhok nakatapos ka na ng isang Indiana Jones movie.
MO: So kapag head-to-toe, Star Wars Trilogy, ganon?
Me: Ten Commandments.
MO: Kunsabagay, mahal na araw naman e.

One year from now...

Dear Self from one year ago,

So how did your thesis defense go? I mean your first thesis defense. You'll be thankful to those people that seemed to kill you before now cares for your graduation a lot. You'll graduate on time and it will be the proudest moment of your life. Trust me. You will have his name (three given names, two-word middle name and last name) at the end of your thesis acknowledgments, just as you wished.

One year from now you'll look back at it and still be amazed how you got away from all the shiznit alive. After the revision, you won't be able to open your thesis manuscript until you had to refer to it while editing a friend's thesis--yes, you will help a friend with his thesis. You can't open it not because you curse the final manuscript to the deepest pits of hell, but because you know for yourself that it's 90-something half-baked pages that could have been better if not of the circumstances brought about by your respondents. One year from now, OrCom students will come to you for help and you will not deprive them of it. You will, in fact, make a pledge that you would uphold the pursuit of academic excellence (or somewhat like it) in any way you can because that's the least you can do to help them. If only your thesis respondents thought the same way as you do.

After your graduation, you will stay at home all summer looking for a job, and finally get one a week after classes officially start. I'm sorry darling, but no matter how hard you try to avoid Human Resources, you will inadvertently land there. And I am telling you this now, you will learn to love it that you actually see yourself in the industry in the long run. It just sucks that your cover letter for that PR role wasn't enough to do the trick--I thought it was kick-ass too.

One year from now, you will be in a top recruitment company based in UK and your body clock still wouldn't have changed as you will work with counterparts in the Americas (ergo, the night shift). One year from now you will realize that your thesis manuscript has nothing to do with how you start your career--it is what you have learned and experience during its making that would. At this moment I know that you have already learned the virtues of patience and optimism, and I kid you not, working like mad as long as you see a hint of light at the end pays off eventually.

You will encounter difficult clients and even more difficult teammates to work with. You will contemplate resignation for at least ten times and cry in toilets. A year after you first tried to defend your thesis, however, you will write this and realize how good your life is and that your company values you a lot. You will "Strongly Agree" to a survey item that states"I will not leave this company right now". You will be awarded as Contributor of the Quarter on your first quarter at work, and your excellence will become a special case in the company that you will bypass regular employee processes. I'm not telling you this to swell your head and give everyone a middle finger, saying "I don't need this, suckers!" Do not be proud as you read this. Do not neglect every little thing you do. Do not be grumpy when things don't go your way because they can only get better. Trust me.

One year from now you will write this using your personal office computer while on a 1-hour break. You still have your headphones on but you will listen to Oasis (mostly), Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Jet, The Smiths, and The Beatles instead of your thesis playlist. You will finally be aware of the fact that Wonderwall is not the best Oasis song there is (but it will always remind you of his scent and how he juxtaposed his body against yours as he tried to know what you listen to). You will have an unexplainable admiration for a man named Noel Gallagher (if you don't know him you can google it up) who is 23 years your senior and you will secretly wish you were a British girl born in the 70's who was in Knebworth's biggest gig in '96. You will have changed a lot of your views in life, you will have established a stronger personality, and you will listen to music that you used to skip on MTV, mostly by British rockstars who used to sniff cocaine during the time that you were just learning to recognize the five basic senses. In the end, however, you are confident that you have grown up more than you have grown old. It's only a year hence.

I can't wait until you get here. It will be the wildest year of your life so far.

Onwards.

In a bit,

Yourself (only a year older)

Career Objectives

 

GOOD LORD DID I JUST---

I raised 45 requisitions and almost fainted

I can hear my stomach do the guitar riff of Metallica's Enter Sandman. Sitting in front of my trusty office PC for 12 hours now and I still haven't got over that 2-hour web conference to happen at 11. I sighed. Why the heck am I processing all these requisitions when I am in fact in a team and not a one-man band? I don't know, really. I just know that there are a lot of work coming and it's kinda unfair for my other team mate to take on this when I can do it on my own. 45 requisitions. Good Heavens. Whoever says America does not have enough jobs to cater to them all probably just don't know where to look or have mismatched degrees.

Le sigh.

I left the office at 2PM. Passed by McDonald's to get myself some sugar-heavy caramel sundae, reflected on my life (this is a joke), passed by the isawan, ate some betamax and isaw manok, and finally called it a day at 4PM. I'll be leaving again at 11PM and I don't have enough time to get the recommended sleeping hours. Or do I? I don't know.

I set my alarm at quarter to 10, but you should know how I always hit snooze upon hearing the intro to Cigarettes and Alcohol which I awkwardly set as my alarm knowing that neither do I smoke nor drink alcohol. I then woke up to the ring of my phone and my boss is calling. I dropped the call and texted him "On my way, Boss." LOL JK your phone call just woke me up.

I arrived at the office a little after 11:30 and my boss instantly knew that I just woke up when he called. I asked him why the need to call me and he answered that it's because I had a sh*tload of escalations that came along the 45 requisitions I raised earlier, the same ones that made me take paracetamol because my head felt like being ripped apart. After all that fookin' pain, I'll be getting escalations? Hell.

I opened my PC to take a look at it and answer them myself. I whispered, albeit a little loudly and I don't give a damn anymore if anyone can hear me: "Di naman ako mamamatay dito." My boss said that he sent it to my AMS email and I should take a look at it. When I saw it, I almost fainted.

#^*#!!#!!! Boss and my Team Mates. You started my day on the wrong foot by fooling me like this.

Ladies and gentlemen, my first pat on the back. Although this is of a lower rank, shall we say, than the one I previously received (The employee of the quarter award), this is still something that makes me feel that I am more than a fookin' machine that generates 45 job requisitions a day.

If I only knew that the turnaround time for that project is 3 days, then f*ck it, I wouldn't have done it all. I DIDN'T KNOW. I THOUGHT IT WAS 24 FOOKIN' HOURS AND I WORKED MY ARSE TO COMPLETE IT. But oh well... The isaw manok already compensated it.

Well, I kinda hate how AMS makes me so attached with these stuff and with Human Resources as a whole. I used to believe I am not made for HR. I am not a people person, man. But I always land here, recruitment particularly. But I've no regrets. Especially with my first recruitment experience. In fact, right now I am starting to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I am destined to be in HR after all. Writing is my first love, but maybe, just maybe, God wants it to stay that way so that I'll never lose my interest in it. I myself don't want the day to come that I'll view writing as a task and not as a hobby that I should enjoy.

My friend Cole is leaving the company on Friday, and she asked me if I wanted her to refer me to the company she'll be working for. She talked about the perks of her new company, like traveling to different parts of the country and experiencing a lot of different things. And here's how I answered her: "I don't think I'm ready to leave AMS just yet."

Remember how I used to rant like there's no tomorrow about AMS? Eat that.

Just because I believe going on a business trip to London is better than recruiting on different domestic locations. Madferit, mate!

Suck a Mountain and See

I've always wanted to climb a mountain. On December 2011, I posted a status message that I'd go mountain climbing once I get my job done to sh*t out the stress before entering the new year. Because my team mates are supportive, they wanted to join me. We made plans. We selected a mountain (Mt Maculot as the first option), then re-selected (Pico de Loro), and settled with a volcano instead of a mountain (Taal Crater). Like all elaborate plans, that trip never happened.

Two months later, Kris came to AMS and became a friend. What's it gotta do with mountain climbing? A lot. She hikes as much as other girls party. She met her other half through common mountaineer friends. She can set up a tent, knows the best places to go to, first aid, and stuff. She breathes mountains.

On a regular day, thinking that she's a mountain climber is quite impossible.

Prayer answered!

So while we were experiencing system downtime, we talked about her hobby. We ended up planning a hike up Mt Batulao the weekend after that. It's all good and there's no turning back! Ya-hey!

You know those stuff you used to see in TV about camping trips and life in the mountains? Some of them are true and some are not-so-true. Here I am to debunk some, based on what I have seen from the first mountain I've owned like a G6:

1. It's possible to obtain cellphone signal on top of a mountain. Even access Wi-Fi!
2. Dora the explorer's backpack is possible. Kris's boyfriend, Jaycee has a backpack that spawns anything that you'll ever need. Aside from the usual camper's stuff, he's got a kitchen, a tent, and an entertainment system inside!
3. You can't not know anything and just say "Sorry, taga-bundok ako e". They know better than us in some aspects.
4. There's a store at the mountain's summit!!! They're selling--go on and guess--MOUNTAIN dew!!!
5. Sea Bears are avoidable if you stay in groups or inside your tent.



Thankfully, we're Seabear-proof.

 6. You can drink your own pee, but please avoid it at all costs.
7. You don't really need a compass if ever you got lost. Just follow the horse poop and you're on your way back home.

Going up a mountain to unwind from the harsh city is something I don't regret. It restores pleasant vibes that the workplace robbed you of and reminds you how it good feels to be alive--as a living, breathing human being that you really are--more than just an 8-5 employee with no social life aside from Facebook.


Top stuff I loved:
1. The village locals. Before we started our hike, we passed by a residential area and the people that we come across say: "Ingat kayo sa pag-ahon sa bundok!" (Take care as you ascend the mountain!) and smile. Wishing others well is something that does not cost anyone anything, yet it is something that brings great joy. Sadly, it is also something that most of us have forgotten.

Here's one of our well-wishers. He said "moo", roughly translating to "ingat!"

2. Other campers. As we head off the new trail, we encountered campers on their way down. It's like everyone knows everybody, it's amazing! They face us with greetings, ask us questions (day hike?),  and tell us to take care. Mountaineers are wonderful people.

3. Since everyone knows everyone, the people at the camp are in for a huge slumber party! People share food, lend each other stuff, drink all night, and share stories like they've known each other for so long. The people at the nearby tent shared their drink with us and we became friends. Going up a mountain to unwind is also a great way to meet new friends.

Kris and our new beki friend!

 4. The food. We're quite lucky that Jaycee enjoys cooking, which made us end up with superb gourmet meals instead of instant food. We had fried chicken, buttered baby potatoes and chinese cabbage for dinner (all freshly cooked, man!!) and toast, pizza omelette, and corned beef for breakfast. There's been a little accident with the rice though, one of our mates Lean accidentally put gin instead of water as it boils. The result was drunken rice (not bad, but I'm not sure if someone got to eat it).

Can't do anything else but scratch his head...

Breakfast like a sir!

5. The air. Fresh, cooool breeze gently touching your face!

My "Oh yes mahangin!" shot

6. The scenery. Just seeing the other mountains on the horizon (Mt Talamitam can be seen nearby) is enough to break the monotony brought about by the tall city buildings.



Wash your face in the morning sun...

7. Tree branches and talahib grass. I never thought they'd be very useful.
8. Motivators. I'm too close to surrender our ascend to the summit, but my friends Jaycee and Nestor were too steady to agree. Even if it's raining and we won't really see anything up there, the rule is to never say never.

"See that? Just a few climbs and buttslides and we're there..."

9. The dirt. I said that. I loved the dirt. I am officially the girl in the dirty shirt. I hugged dirt, lied in dirt, rolled in dirt, gripped dirt, and ate dirt, and I am still alive. It's wonderful. I lost all remaining sosyal cell in my body.

10. The climb. I don't like quoting Miley Freakin' Cyrus but that's what it's really about. We reached the summit but did not see anything aside from mist, but the fact that you got up a mountain 800 meters above sea level is something that others do not readily achieve. It's amazing. I can't believe I'd be doing this but heck, I just did.

The Batulao Summit companions: Jaycee, Lean, Nestor, and Me

775~ meters above sea level. Eat that, ground-level people!

The Verdict:
With how it brought me closer to the sky, Mt Batulao is definitely just the first of many mountains I'll climb. :)

Dear 15-year old self,

I know for a fact that you are immature and you are not doing your homework, but now I am summoning you to write a 400-word article. I've been on a blink-fest with the cursor for three hours now and I only managed to produce two paragraphs. This is embarassing but I hope you can help me. I'll give you a pen with your name engraved on it as a reward.

PS. It hurts when you can't do the only thing you know doing, not because the circumstances disagree, but because you lost the capability. Just keep writing until the pen bleeds and your hand is numb.

Cheers,
Your self from 6 years into the future

Get Rich or Die Trying (An extremely long post written with a dysfunctional keyboard)

One of my friends recently ventured into multi-level marketing. Since he entered that “business”, he can’t seem to stop raving about it—during lunch breaks, while working, on yosi or coffee breaks... each conversation seem to ultimately lead to him endorsing the product or patronizing the capabilities of multi-level marketing in making someone rich.

As a background, this money-reaping endeavor my friend entered is something like a pharmaceutical company (or at least that’s what I understood from his endless sales talk). You invest, they give you some of their products, sell them, recruit others to sell them too, and so on. More recruits, and recruits of your recruits ad infinitum, more profit. My friend brags about how the person that recruited him earns as much as 200,000 pesos a month—even more than the salary of a VP-level in the investment bank I work for.

Sounds good.

But to admit that even as an Organizational Communication major, one thing I hate is sales talk. Yes, advertising is sales talk, David Archuleta’s facebook status update on his upcoming TV series is sales talk, and so are Chris Tiu’s tweets about the heavenly taste of Happy Lemon drinks. I can bear with those. But when they start to swear upon something about things that are too good to be true—I lose interest instead of delving deeper into details. Exactly what happened the first time my friend raved about his new venture. In fact I became so impatient that at one point I blurted out: “Are you doing a sales pitch on us?!” Which he denied. Really, now.

After his first ambush endorsement of the company’s products which I did not pretty much pay attention to, I made an introspection as to why I developed a strong aversion to these very targeted sales talks. And I have traced its roots way back in second grade.

 I trust people easily and I lose discernment once the other person gets a hold of it. That is why I let an upperclassman steal my purse when I was in grade school, and even got duped by fake insurances (good thing I already had it refunded) and text scammers. I absolutely abhor myself for letting these happen—for having to risk a reasonable amount of money by trusting so easily, and even more for actually believing in things that are too good to be true. So now, when I sense someone tries to sell me something, I instantly zone out. I stay as far as I could from free blood pressure check-ups or spin-the-wheel-you-might-win-a-forlorn-pillow-with-our-company-logo booths as well.

You might tell me: KC, just because something is too good to be true does not necessarily mean it is a hoax. You might want to take a shot on your friend’s venture and retire at the age of 26 (my target age to obtain my second academic degree,  be at least two steps from an entry-level position, and *God willing please please please* already be with that person that I’d marry on the church I grew up in and spend the remaining days of my life with). Aah, Wonderful.

That is, if my life’s ultimate goal is to make a pool of cash and make myself filthy rich. I’d be a hypocrite if I say that being able to earn on my own isn’t the reason why I shed blood and tears for a college degree. It is. But there is more to life than earning six figures per month. A cliche, you may say, but think of it: when you earned enough to get everything you need, do you think life would still be as exciting? Well, you could buy a mustang and drive it at 200kph or build your own theme park.

If you say yes, then I’ll tell my friend to recruit you.

But as for me, earning 200 grand each month like that is not really the way to fulfillment. Not that I don’t want to earn a lot, too—but I want to be able to say that the level of respect that I earn as a person is directly proportional to the money I make; and that I earned that respect not because I am rich, but because I have established a reputation as a visionary leader and a never-ending learner. Maybe then I’d be able to own (or partly own, I don’t really mind) a company built to last. Or maybe become the writer I really wanted to be. I may not earn much, but I am happy. And I want to be able to raise up my kids the way my mother did to me and my kuya: finding happiness in contentment, drawing strength from faith.

Like a lot of the people that ventured into my friend’s multi-level marketing business, I also don’t want an 8-hour job until I retire. I don’t want to age as an employee without having left my own mark in the corporate world. But I don’t mind staying here for a little longer, rather than get rich in a snap with something that I myself do not believe in. My road may be rough and blurry but eventually, I’ll get there—with probably, hopefully, a better story to tell.

Not that I am saying that their way of earning money is wrong, nor their perspective is distorted. We are the decisions we make.

During yet another lunch break –turned– sales talk session, my friend told us about how he regrets being an employee working his ass off and still not getting anything permanent for himself, when he could be in that business instead. And that by 65, either we are dead, or dead broke, if we do not leverage (again, another way of saying: invest into this business instead). He told us to aim for self-actualization.

I know a lot of people who are still alive, kicking, not broke, and even teaching at the University that are past this age. Those who are dead or dead broke at 65 probably consumed too much alcohol, nicotine and chicharong bulaklak during Friday night outs and/or never got to master the art of stress management, probably have never heard of investment or saving up, and/or have irresponsible children that know nothing but to multiply.

And to tell you the truth, my road to self-actualization started seven months ago with this job. I may have cursed this job a lot and contemplated on resigning at least once a month, but how I inadvertently turned the very things I dislike about this job into an opportunity to showcase my potential (do not quote me on the latter part, my boss said that) is a sign that I am not in this job for nothing. Developing my personality is more fulfilling than a pot of gold (again, this is my idealistic self speaking but with all honesty, this is something I don't want the corporate world to take away from me). Still a long way to go, and probably more resignation letters and rant blog entries will be drafted, but no one ever said it would be easy. Life is a journey and everyone ends into dust—but those whose inner being glows with happiness and fulfillment will end up as glitters instead of ash.

Like what one of my favorite Incubus songs say: “The sweetest things, they burn before they shine.” So just hold on to what we’ve got. We’re halfway there. WHOOOOA Living on a prayer.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two ore three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

--The Little Prince

Boss: Ang cute nito o. Taga-UP.
Me: Lahat kaya ng taga-UP cute.
Boss: Meron akong kilalang taga-UP na panget.
Me: Yung mukhang unggoy?
Boss: Hindi, taga-San Beda yun.
Me: ...Ay putik, San Beda.

Random Stuff.