I know You still remember the time that I posted this.
I know You hear my prayers every night that you keep him safe and provide him everything he needs. I know You know he is always--still--of my concern though I try to keep it to myself. I know You know that I am afraid that he would he make me feel that overwhelming indifference he had in my dream last night, if ever we see each other again.
I know You know how much I love him then--even before I wrote that blog post--and until now. You don't forget. You have granted all my prayers at the start of the year: even the ones that are nearly impossible--and more. You let me graduate, You made this year a life-changer for Dad, and You gave me undeserved grace at a company I never would have imagined I would work for.
But I know that even with all those, You can give me something more: My number one creative miracle. You still has his name written on the palm of Your hand as the creative miracle I held on to at the start of the year.
Lord, You know the fear that occupy the previously hollow space in my heart. You know that the thought of letting all of this go terrifies me. You know that I am afraid to let this all go to waste and I am afraid of the possibility that one day I will find out that everything I have done never really worked. I am afraid that the letters I wrote--all 200 and still counting of them--will never be read of their intended recipient. I am afraid that the love story I have always prayed for will just end with a blur.
Father, I know that you didn't put this desire in my heart for nothing. I know that You are the one that led me to where I am now--and God, I pray that in the future I can say that You are the one that led us to each other.
Lord, please let me sleep with a peaceful heart tonight. And please grant me the assurance that everything will be alright in the end.
2 comments:
Labs, I pray that you may have more patience when it comes to that one thing. Don't worry, God wants us to be happy. He'll grant us that desire, eventually. :) and believe me, I can relate. E ako nga wala man lang to set my eyes on, so mas natatakot ako minsan. Pero I stumbled upon a verse about worrying the other day when I was strolling in the mall. Too bad I forgot which verse it was, but the gist was this: (again) don't worry. God wants you to be happy. He'll give you your desire eventually, or maybe even something better. :) Sometimes I try remembering my advice to you once upon a time :)) Nothing will go to waste, everything is a part of the process :) - hopeful labs
It's amazing how well you know me. I know you always have the right things to say. Thanks Labs. In time. :)
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