D, v.21

Could you promise me that while you are reading this, you are also listening to Taylor Swift’s “Invisible”?

If you answered yes, read on.

Today is the 100th day of me liking you. A hundred days had passed since that jeepney ride that changed everything. Last night, I prayed for something good to happen, but I guess this is not a very good time.

Something good did happen. I saw you. That’s enough to make any day special.

There's a fire inside of you

That can't help but shine through…

I was looking at you. You smiled, and there was a particular glow in your eyes. It broke my heart. Why? Because you did those as you read a text message from someone else.

She can't see the way your eyes

Light up when you smile…

You seemed to vanish in another time and place as you indulge in a text conversation with that someone they seem to link to you. She must be really special.

Oh heck, I don’t know what to say. I hate myself for lifting my expectations for this day so much… I want to cry. Heck, that’s all I can freakin’ do.

And you can't see me wanting you

The way you want her

But you are everything to me…

I know jealousy is bad. And it is worst when you don’t even have the right to be jealous. Heck, you don’t even know I like you, and you have all the rights to smile and be hyped up with the text messages of that someone.

But still, I can’t help but feel… Sad. Low. Depressed. Hello? I just saw the guy I like be so freakin’ly happy with text messages of someone.

And you just see right through me

If you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle

Unbelievable, instead of just invisible…

And then I ask and ask again these questions: When will this end? When will you smile because of me? When will I be happy too?

Just picturing your smile in my head is enough to make me fall for you more and more. Should I keep on falling for you like this, when I am not the one who makes you happy?

And all I think about

Is how to make you think of me

And everything that we could be…

Yes, I will. I won’t stop falling in love with you.

D, I am still praying for you. I am not giving up.

I am waiting for the day that we will no longer be invisible. And I know that someday, we’ll be a beautiful miracle.