Right now I just want to see you to slap your face real hard for all the pain you caused me. No, I just wanna hug you so bad. I hate you. I love you more. And I hate that while I am loving you, I am hating myself more. For being stupid enough to tell you that I love you when I clearly know that you don't feel the same way. I hate myself. I hate how I can't say what I really want to say because I might end up being the jealous one when I have no right to be. I hate how I can't hate you, how I always end up saying "sorry" for everything I do, even if that's what I really want to say.
I hate this I-don't-freaking-know-where-to-freaking-place-myself situation. I hate this should-I-give-up-or-should-I-just-keep-chasing-pavements thoughts that I always have, even when I always end up holding on to every hope that I have held on to since last year.
Congratulations for making me cry for the nth time, you.
I love you.
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