I am tired of writing things like this

He said: “What’s yours, is yours”

But am I not the one?

Am I not considered yours?

Those lines sent me crying to the floor…

What we had (or what I felt we had) is over, and done.

Long done.

Since the end

Of the best summer I ever had.

These letters I write will never be read

There are more than a hundred of them,

All ending with “yours”, “always”,

“Forever and a day”…

Now that forever has an end.

It’s crazy how I waited for the pain before I surrender.

Lucky girl, for she will experience

All I had for dreams:

Listening to your rants

Of lost games and other things;

Sitting beside you as you play the piano,

Letting you meet my parents,

And brother, and Lola,

And cousins—who know you

Through all those lovestruck stories I shared;

Knowing your mom,

And being next to her in your heart,

Trying my best to meet her expectations

And taking care of you in the best way I can;

Writing you love notes every day,

And fixing your tie;

Holding your hand as we dance,

Having your last name,

And the privilege to say: “I love you till I die.”

Oh how I want to.

What saddens me is not that I lost you,

Or the happy feeling four months ago.

I cry, because I cannot do these things

For the awesome person you are.

I believe you deserve this more than anyone else.

I loved you. Love you.

What used to be forever

…Will remain just the same.

****

Almost.

So long, beloved.

You are now someone else’s,

But still my dearest.