Aside from my nursery school seat mate who was my crush even before I knew the meaning of it, Westlife’s Mark Feehily was the first guy I have given my heart to. That was way before I saw in the news that he is… well, gay.
When I was in sixth grade, Mark Feehily was replaced by a real, tangible (and not just seen on TV) guy.
I was also in sixth grade when I swore I would never like a real, tangible guy again—ever. After learning that my “best friend” that time is the girlfriend of my first ever legitimate crush, I promised I won’t see anyone through crush-colored glasses ever.
I have a weak heart, and you know what happens next.
Sometimes, seeing someone through crush-colored glasses can be an awesome feeling. It inspires, it lets you hope, it gives you the feeling of butterflies in the stomach (which is awkward, really, but I love it), and it gives you a reason to wake up every morning. It gives you a thousand reasons to write things like this, even if it’s just admiration.
It can make you smile just remembering whatever related to him—it can even make you smile for no reason at all.
I broke that promise a long time ago. I won’t make such promises again, because knowing my psyche, I am bound to break it. But now, I have realized the wonders of the complexity of being in love—and I love to imagine the day I’d be sharing it with someone. :)
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