D, v.28

I’ve got a confession to make.

Every time I go to the place where we met, I realize the same thing over and over again… that it is possible for me to take a lifetime waiting for you.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not falling out of love with you, of course not, because I still think of you every night before I go to sleep. It is still you who comes to my mind whenever the word love is mentioned. It is still you who I imagine walking beside me whenever I go home alone. The thing is, it’s hard to believe that someday you will be with me when I see you with her laughing and having a good time: the things I have always wished that we would do together.

I can’t say that I am now going on to the phase of moving on and giving you up, because there is still a part of me that believes in the reality of these dreams. But now it is all right to me if you are not the one. I am torn with the belief that you are the one, and the fact that you aren’t.

I know things will fix themselves up someday. If you are for me, then good. If you are not for me, then live a good life with her. I feel a twinge of hurt while typing the last sentence though, but it will all be better in time... they always have.