Today I also saw you play the guitar and sing. Heck, now I wonder if there is a thing you could not do… of course there must be, but you never cease to amaze me. My smiling-to-myself hobby becomes more and more frequent, thanks to all my thoughts of you.
But there is one thing that bothers me and makes me afraid. They found out I like you. That secret I have kept for so long was discovered, and now it’s only a tongue’s slip away for you to know.
Heck, why am I afraid? Simple. I am afraid of your rejection. I am afraid of knowing you don’t feel the same, you don’t like me, and you don’t like the thought of me writing about you and doing chibi versions of you. I don’t want to sound negative, but I’ve always been used to that. And I don’t want it to happen again.
My cousin told me: “Ok lang yan ate, crush lang naman…” (It’s OK, it’s just a crush…) and thought you wouldn’t bother that much.
But I think this is NOT JUST A CRUSH. What I am feeling now is more than that. I don’t write about a crush. I don’t dedicate a whole weblog for a crush. I don’t fill my planner with hearts because of a usual event that happened with a crush. I don’t smile to myself like a freak every time with the thought of a crush. I don’t dream about a crush every night. I don’t do chibi versions of a crush. I don’t scribble a crush’s name on every paper I get a hold of. I don’t think of a crush every night before I go to sleep.
And I include you in my prayers, asking the Lord that if you really are for me, he will make a way for us. I don’t do that for someone who is only a crush.
If ever you find out, I hope you’ll be happy because you feel the same for me. I hope you’ll be flattered because of everything that I have written while having you on my mind, and my chibi versions of you. I hope you’ll smile upon discovering and reading my blog posts dedicated to you. If ever you find out, I hope you’ll tell me that I have nothing to be afraid of, because you feel the same for me.*
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